Captain’s star date, 7/02/21. I think I have found an entire pod of Romulans. They’re a funny sort of people. They’re also the entire “penguin family.” Whoa, most amazing. My oldest son wanted to have a family reunion at the penguin’s cabin on Lake Cumberland, Ky. My thought, “Why?” I still didn’t make an appointment with a psychiatrist from they’re last visit. Definitely PTSD!!! I made it here yesterday after a long arduous trip. I plotted out my own course on an old style piece of paper called a map. I did not want to use my phone for anything. It was a really cool drive until I had to pass through the cold front. It was unbelievably stormy, and all the places I had picked to stop at, and enjoy, were being rained on heavenly. (That’s not what I said, but I like it.) I almost wrecked my truck and camper coming down a long mountain grade. I thought I was going way slow enough. At the very end of the downgrade where the sharp turn was I hit my brakes just a little bit. Before I knew it I was in somebody’s backyard. That was very interesting. But I digress... I managed to turn a 6 1/2 hour drive into a 12 hour drive. Worked out perfect as far as spending quality time with anyone I didn’t want to spend time with. When I got here. Perry Mason was on. They came out to meet me, and give me hugs I did not want, and then we all went in the house and had to be very quiet while they’re watching the end of Perry Mason. Oh dear lord, I traveled 12 hours, maybe it should’ve been 6 1/2, and I’m stuck watching the 1950 rerun of Perry Mason. What a great start to a terrible weekend. I’m pretty buzzed now and I can’t even text talking to my phone. They are totally wrong about you can’t drink to forget. I’m doing it right now. I will be back....
The funniest part about the star date logbook, we’re all sitting around a bonfire and I’m writing this. Hilarious!!!
I just came inside myself. My wife and I sat outside, having a lovely conversation while the katydids called their cadence from the pines. Summer in the south is a part of my psyche(sp?). I too prefer a paper map and finding the original roads. Show me ‘Old Hwy 138’ or ‘Historic 441’ and that’s my route. The misadventures can occur but the ‘wow, that’s cool!’ more than make up for it. Kinda like riding out a hurricane I’d guess. Patrick
Captain’s star date 7/03/21. I made it through the night. I watched the oldest penguin brother drink way too much all day long. He says his back is killing him, and he is walking all hunched over like someone stuck a corn cob up his azz, but really. Nobody likes hanging out with someone that is slurring their words and fumbling around to walk. He also brought his dumbass dog that supposedly is his daughters, but he got stuck with. He has no training ability. The head penguin, a.k.a. Big flat azz attempted to talk everyone’s ears off all day long. I noticed what her sons do. They pretty much just ignore her when she’s talking and continue their conversation. I will have to try that. I think it would help if I had brought my earplugs that I go shooting with. I think she starting to get delirious. She told an entire story about someplace close, but she doesn’t remember the name of it, and it is so beautiful. She must’ve talked for an entire five minutes straight and no one even listened to her. She just keeps on talking. I truly believe she loves the sound of her voice. Being the entire family arrived yesterday my wife slept in the camper with me last night. Oh joy! She snores like an 18 wheeler going down a mountain grade using the Jake brake. Fortunately I drank enough so that the second my body hit the bed I was out like a light. Today everyone is going boating, swimming, and possibly some water skiing. We just got finished eating a really good breakfast. Is it time for a beer yet?
Patrick, I agree with you 100%. Whenever I have to drive somewhere distant I try to take state highways as much as possible. You see some of the coolest things that you definitely won’t see on the interstate. Once I drove from Virginia to St. Louis for a wedding. I took state roads the entire way. I stopped at a historic marker, which was also a welcome area for the state of Illinois. I read this historic marker that said, once the state of Illinois was an entire county of Virginia. I did not know that. You learn something new every day.
Before the days of computerized, shortest distance, trip planning, I'd occasionally take my big rig on some legal for trucks, secondary roads for that reason. Got to see some cool places that way. A favorite was "Craters of the Moon" in Idaho. Was able to stop a few times to enjoy the scenery and snap a few photos. Rand McNally's Professional Driver's Atlas's were my best friend for planning my own route. Nowadays most companies provide drivers with "approved" routing.
when the wifes sister calls and I mistakenly answer the phone I'll set it on top of the counter and walk away. I can here that chain smoker voice all over the house. she does not stop to even take a breath let alone a second for some one to reply. Ever watch the Simpsons? Sounds just like Thelma, Lois's sister.
Captain’s log, star date 7/04/21. Happy 4th of July!!! Yesterday was pretty good. Went boating and swimming all day. The screech owl stayed at the cabin. Didn’t have to see, or hear her all day. Sweet! Came home for dinner, and went out again for the fireworks show. Came back after 2 am. Nice... My youngest son and his wife are moving out of the camper and into a tent. They say my wife and I snore too much. Hilarious! More beer, boating, and swimming.
Oh dear lord, baby Jesus, 6 lbs. 7 oz. Here we go again. I would’ve thought 30 pages were enough, but they are not. It has been an interesting day, and the last couple weeks I’ve already been getting a knot in my stomach. I used to love Christmas, and my birthday, New Year’s Eve, oops they are the same day. Now I just fret.
Do you still have the safety house thing? (The grandkids’ playtent thingy)? You have the upper hand! You are a Floridian and like to be outside; they don’t. As ‘Skink’ did in the early Hiassen novels did, go native! They won’t know what to do. Patrick
For you Up North people, especially in Canada, here is tonight’s temperature. This is also going to be our low for tonight. I have been waking up, walking outside with my coffee and watching the news with shorts, and flip-flops. Pretty damn nice
I’m going to go to bed pretty soon. Tomorrow I will name a new set of characters along with the old set of characters just to keep you abreast. The names are the same but they are still a**holes. Oops, did I said that?
You ever read Carl Hiassen’s books? They’re funny as hell and true to Florida. (As a Georgian who’s been to the redneck Riviera, the Gator Bowl stadium, the mouse, Daytona, Pensacola and many more locations including more highbrow locales, I feel like I know the state.) He nails it. Patrick
Dang Patrick, I don’t normally read books. I know, pathetic. But I have read a few books, and that sounds like an awesome book. I will check it out
