Brian, THANK YOU for your continued support!!! Sure helps me make it through the day sometimes. Today... I only HATED them for most of the day. The longer they stay, the more I despise them! I woke up this morning. Lately that has been the hardest thing to do. So many possibilities. I might get to see the screech owl doing butt squats in front of the toaster. Always blocking my way. I might wake up to Freaky Guy. Also blocking my way. He just stands in the kitchen and stares around. I go back outside and wait it out. When I go back inside I hear, "Oh, didn't know you were up." Geese, neither one of them had any idea I walked up behind them, gave up on any kitchen possibilities, and went back outside. When I go back in 15 minutes later I'm always horrified! Crumbs in front of the toaster. Coffee grounds spilled all around the coffee maker. A butter covered knife on the counter top where she finished using it. That's her mess. His mess... Cereal bowl and spoon left right where he ate his bowl of cereal. Many mornings his empty box of cereal sitting next to his bowl. (I need a bowl!!!) Then they slowly walk out to the front porch. It's sunny and blocks the north wind if we have one. They look like the vultures from the movie, The Jungle Book. "What do you want to do?" "I don't know. What do you want to do?" Then they take their morning walk around the block. They come back and go right back to their seats on the front porch. I gotta say, they sure keep burglars away!!! They're scary as hell! Today they didn't stay outside. "It's hot and muggy." Such whiners!!!!! So I decided to take all the throw rugs outside. Just doing that makes them nervous. Then I broke out the vacuum. They were gone. Got in they're car and left. AWESOME!!! They do that EVERY TIME I breakout the vacuum, even past years! Somehow cleaning the roost blows their minds. Such slobs! I think the little penguin, my wife, must be telling them about my bitching. I notice them trying to clean up after themselves. They are NOT very good at it. It's just not in their blood. They are messy! Freaky Guy attempted to clean up his lunch crumbs. He should wear his glasses! He missed wiping up a lot of crumbs. Screech owl has way less crumbs in the morning, but the throw rug was still covered in them. Freaky guy came in later and threw his Keebler cookie bag away. In the recycle bucket. D.A. It's trash!!! I don't know why they can't figure out what goes in the yellow, and blue bins, and what is trash! After I took his cookie bag out of the blue bin I saw the Screech Owl is putting her used, snotty, tissues in the yellow bin again. Really, they're going to recycle used tissue. YUCK!!! I could complain forever, but I must get up to endure another day with them. More YUCK!!!
I woke up this morning. Bummer! I went to the kitchen and NO ONE was blocking my way. Holy sh*t!!! I knew the screech owl was up already. Subtle hints. The smell of crummy bagel. Hot, brown water in the coffee pot along with the usual coffee grounds spilled around it. I looked around the toaster and was hard pressed to find crumbs. What??? I then looked at the big counter top. Yup, there they were. One big crumb was soooo close to the edge of the counter. It'll fall off onto the floor sooner or later. I walk out to the porch and unfortunately have to pass by her. You know she is going to say something to me. "Morning John." I mumble morning back to her. She continues talking as I'm walking out the door. "It's very foggy outside, but it will probably burn off." Really??? I never saw a morning that the fog didn't burn off. Stupid bit*h! Did I ever tell you the screech owl's last job was in sales, and she did good. I used to think to myself, "They probably buy stuff just to shut her up, and get off the phone. Oh well... One day closer to them leaving! I'm not counting days yet because I'm sure it's double digit. More grief to come..... Have a GREAT day!!!
I have very cool pictures to post of the best part of my day. This is a new phone to me so I will attempt
Wow, I am sorry. Apparently I double clutched a whole bunch of times. New phone, old brain. My grandson said to me today, papa I want to Jack my Jeep up to see what's going on underneath of it. So I helped him. He told his sister to go get him a screwdriver. I busted out laughing. The kid is a chip off the old block!
They're actually milk crates. You're not going to believe this, but it is true... My wife actually got JC3 some jack stands. She helped John put 1 jack stand in the front to hold the front end up in the air. I came walking by to see my wife attempting to put the other jack stand in the rear. WTF!!! I had to explain to her that that will never work. It will teeter totter. She didn't get it. Lucky she doesn't work under cars!!! I told my grandson to go get the milk crates. To funny!
Karma, it can be good, and it can be bad. I think I got some bad karma today. I'm trying like heck to clean up after the party this weekend. Don't get me wrong. Buick people do NOT leave a mess. I'm talking tables, coolers, etc. I have to move my car off of the lawn out front. Dumb azz screech owl is right in the walkway. Can't believe she didn't say, "Am I in the way?" I could kill her!!! I took the tarp off of my car. I did not roll it up. I just bunched it up. I told Jane, "Get out of the way!" "I'm coming through!" She Barely moved an inch!!! I tarped her whole body. I rubbed tarp across her face. She yelled. I kept walking! After I moved my car I turned the front sprinklers on. I told THEM, "I'm gonna turn the sprinklers on." Jane said, "We're good." Apparently they got wet. When I came around from the back of the house, they were gone. Nice! Tonight.... Some one needs to get me the combination to the gun safe! They have to go. I can't finish, tonight. Freaky guy came out to talk to me. I think he wanted to "smooth" it all out, but that will NOT happen. More tomorrow...
Tuesday morning... I woke up before she did. I made MY coffee. Do you know after I made MY coffee I had to wash my hands! I'm sure the slimy, slippery feeling I got from the coffee pot handle is from her bagel butter fingers. Gross! Back to karma... After having a pretty good day bugging the beach it was getting close to dinner time. Monday night is "family" night. Oldest son, and his family. Youngest son, and his wife and mother in-law. You know the routine... The "birds" are impatiently waiting for dinner. The female bird is already crocked from drinking her cheap azz wine. Finally the word "dinner" is called. Of course flat azz screech owl is first. She didn't even assist Freaky guy in getting his dinner. As I began to walk in the house this is what I saw...
I actually saw the fat azz screech owl bending over, wiping up the spilled drink mess she made off the floor with her napkin, but by the time I got my phone to take a picture my wife came to the rescue with a towel. I can only guess she was in such a hurry to shovel food down her throat that she bumped into the kids table and spilled her drink. I HATE HER!!!!!!!! I got my dinner, or attempted to. Freaky guy was clumsily attempting to put food on his plate. I just stood and waited. Finally got my food, ate outside, and then I ran away. I went to my buddy Jack's house to cool off. That didn't really work. He kept saying, "One day they'll be gone, and you'll be sorry." Sorry, I don't feel that way! Now I'm planning on bugging out of here. I can't take the screech owl anymore, and I sure as heck don't want to be around when the hyena and retard Joe come to visit Friday. I'm going to Virginia, real soon! I have to plan my escape.........
