This "Buds for you Jim!" Jim's the owner of this forum. I've never met him, but boy do I hope to at the GS Nationals!!! My "old man buddy" doesn't understand how you can have friends on the internet? (He has a flip top phone and no internet access.) I know I write crazy stuff. NONE of it is made up. I have sooooooo many friends from this forum that I hang out with, spent time with, only talked on the phone with, but will meet sooner or later. Whoa!!! THANKS JIM!!! I write stuff that people tell me, "You make me laugh my azz off!" They, people I consider my friends, write stuff back to me that make me laugh my azz off!!! Thank you Sir!!!
Today is the day. They are leaving for 7 days!!!!!! Except for the mess they have made in the last 24 hours, including this morning, they will be gone!!! I CAN'T wait!!!
The kitchen after lunch. The screech owl made The Dick a fried, greasy hamburger. That's all he eats!!! Of course the greasy pan and crumbs were left for my wife to clean up when she got home from work. They suck!!!
My grand kids were here yesterday. As they were leaving to go home the screech owl said, "Give me a hug. We're going to be gone for 2 weeks." Liar!!! Unfortunately just 1 week. Then 3 more weeks of mess!!! I hate wishing my life away.....
Patrick, that is funny! I spent most of the day taking a transmission out of a 85 suburban. While it was a beast, i didn't hear a single voice except my own. It was a happy voice! Nobody watched me, nobody asked me stupid questions, nobody stood in the way when I was trying to get to my toolbox, and nobody's sat in the way of my favorite pee spot. Life is great!
Your penguins sound an awful lot like my first wife’s family. They where the number one reason we got divorced. Couldn’t keep their noses out of our business. I feel for you brother.
More whoa! I had a great week, and a great weekend! Five days without the in-laws!!! Not long enough! I cleaned up the house for 2 days. I found chips, and a french fry under the screech owls couch, perch. This morning I realized I did not clean properly. I made MY fresh cup of fresh potent coffee. The coffee pot handle was soooo greasy. I immediately surmised the greasiness came from the Screech Owls buttery fingers from playing with her crumby bagel. Good grief! My fingers are slow, but I'll be back early tomorrow morning. Promise.
Wow!!! I've had a bunch of GREAT days!!! Friday night my son Alex, old man Jack, and I were going to the drag strip. We got a phone call that said the track was closed because of the mud racing next door. Stupid! WE continued north to my nephew's house and had a bonfire. A GREAT time!!! Saturday we went boating. My son, my nephew, his buddy, and me. We had a GREAT day!!! We had to hide under a bridge for a bit because of a quick rain storm. Then it was back to playing. We have a big family, and for the most part, we ALL have a GREAT time together!!! Sunday, I pressure washed half of my corner lot sidewalks. (I finished today, worn out!) I made sidewalk art, but I can't show a picture of my art work. It's political, big time. > I DID NOT watch the DA football game. That's political too. I'm done. Today, I finished pressure washing. 240 feet of sidewalk, plus the driveway. My arms are dead! We always have a family spaghetti dinner on Monday night. My oldest son, his wife, and 2 kids, maybe 3, my youngest son and his wife. For the last month the penguins have been in town. My oldest son has said, "NO" to our family dinners. The flat azz screech owl is a conversation dominator!!! She TALKS over EVERYBODY. I first must explain...... The female penguin starts drinking about 4 PM. They're used to eating at 5. She's buzzed by our 7 PM dinner time! We HAVE to watch "Jeopardy" during dinner. We usually DON'T have the TV on and we laugh a LOT! Now crazy azz penguin is calling out letters. There is NO family interaction. She sucks! My life is ending tomorrow. Ruthann, my wife's cousin is flying in tomorrow. We know NOTHING about her arrival time. That's expected. She is now an old, ditsy, blonde! We're going out for my youngest son's birthday. She can sit at our doorstep. Don't care! The Dick and the flat azz screech owl will be back in town the next day. Dam!!! At dinner I complained about the penguins. My wife, baby penguin, quickly quiped, "They're not in your way!" "I don't know why you complain so much!" My youngest son said, "You're wrong! I've seen it!" I shall stop here and add forensic evidence from my phone.
I've had transmission problems in my truck. I had to take the transmission out. My buddy gave me his 85 suburban which had a brand new rebuilt transmission. I had to take the transmission out. Here is where the Dick stands to watch me. Literally right in the path of my toolbox. Such a pain in the butt all day long! NO!!! The Dick does not look like Dale Jr. This was a reenactment. Poster not included!
Sometimes it's windy. Very windy! I try to keep the garage door closed, and I go in the side door. They sit right on the sidewalk in my way!!! The screech owl asks me, "Am I in your way?" Excuse me, I believe that is a rhetorical question. You know damn well you are in my way. Stupid idiot
"Stupid idiot" is redundant. Clear sign you restrained youself and decided not to use a different first word that started with an F.
Back to serious complaining!!! For the last week I have truly enjoyed NOT having to put my pants on to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night! I don't even have to close the door! (Sometimes I fart.) Saturday morning I woke up, walked outside to my porch in my tighty whiteies to get my coffee cup. Can't do that Wednesday night. The house has been sooooooooo quiet, all day long!!! No complaining from the female penguin. "It's to cold." "It's to hot." It's to windy." It's 22 degrees in Cincinnati." "Am I in your way?" "Do you want some crumb cake?", as it falls out of her mouth onto my floors!!! I am a VERY HAPPY person! I sing to myself all day long. I'm getting ready to go back to introvert world. I vacuumed up ALL the crumbs. The throw rug in the living room is probably already shot. Kitchen rugs? Gone. Food crumbs just crushed into them! Disgusting!!! I pressure washed the sidewalk to the porch. Got rid of the screech owl's KFC food spill from my wife's birthday. Pressure washed the sticky stain from the fruity drink she dropped last weekend too. I want to kill!!! I moved the couch to vacuum. I found a ton of crumbs, and one big french fry. More disgusting! The only thing that makes me feel good, I've got termites. I'm getting the house tented spring break. That'll kill ALL the roaches she invited over to suck up her crumbs! Their diet... I can't say to much about The Dick. Besides breakfast, he ONLY eats burnt hamburger every night. I suffer because of HIS diet. I like EVERYTHING!!! Pork, chicken, fish, seafood, and more. EVERY night while they are in town, SSED!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE it!!! The Lazy Dick... If Jim didn't have such high standards, and I like them, I'd call The Dick a P---y!!! So I'll just call him a LIFER "mama's boy." He wakes up in the morning, goes to the kitchen, stares at the cereal selection, finally picks the same cereal he ate the day before, then slobbers on the counter where he makes a mess. Do you know what he does next? Just gets up and walks away. The cereal box is still sitting, open, on the counter. His bowl and spoon are still sitting on the counter. The screech owl will clean it up eventually, like lunchtime! Lunchtime... The screech owl, "Are you getting hungry Dick?" (Sounds sexy? It's NOT!) The Dick, "Ya, I'll take a sandwich." She has always catered to him. Messed up!!! You can't make your own lunch? The flat azz screech owl goes in the kitchen. She cleans up his breakfast mess. LMAO!!! That means she throws his cereal bowl and spoon in the sink. Not the dishwasher right next to the sink. She makes him a ham sandwich and chips. (More crumbs!) Do you know what he does after lunch? I already told you. Same as breakfast!!! Just gets up and walks away. His paper plate, some of his uneaten sandwich, an unclosed bag of chips, and lots of crumbs are all over the place!!! It will be there till my wife gets home and cleans it up. PATHETIC!!!!! This time for a nap. What??? Yep, he's tired. He already S L O W L Y walked around the block TWICE!!! My wife tells me they come down here to walk, cause it's cold up north and dad can't walk outside . NO!!! They come down here to mooch, eat ALL of our food, even food we NEVER buy, (Little Debbie's anything), and trash our house. Whoa!!! During the day, the flat azz screech owl walks in and out, in and out 2 million times. (You know, it's either to cold, windy, or hot!) She tries to talk to me each time. I SERIOUSLY ignore her. Do you know??? Three years ago, and for the 40 something years I've known my wife's family, Dick used to always say, "Jane, shut up!" I LOVED those words!!! For at least 4 minutes she'd shut up! They must have gotten in a fight, or she smacked him! I noticed 3 years ago he does not say that. Interesting... I'd love to tell my wife to "shut up." I don't think it would work out well, nor would I treat anyone that way. Wow guys, I had a GREAT week off!!!!!!!! Ruthann shows up tomorrow night.I think for 9 days. I've got chores to do. Lots of chores! Gotta put a new transmission in my truck. If I'm working to fast, I'll lower the jack, and take a nap under it! I know many of you have endured what I'm going through. I know many of you just flat out enjoy my pain. LMAO again! I gotta tell you all, I've got my grand kids, Holley, like a carburetor, John Carter, like a carburetor, and my 3 grand nephews behind me. Anytime I want to, which is often, I go hangout with my very "free range" kids. Thank you GSFred for naming them them that. They certainly are that, and more.
Steve... You've made interesting comments? Me thinks you know the pain. Just saying. More LMAO!!! Hope to see you in a couple of weeks!!! PS... I love your sense of humor!!!
Tuesday night.... Part one of my headache is here now. Deb's cousin, Ruthann. She lost even more weight. She's starting to look good again. Get you tongue in your mouth John. She's out taking a walk around the lake. She grew up on the west side of the lake next door to my parent's house. As soon as she gets back I'm ready to close up and go to bed. Tomorrow... part two of my headache. The painful part!!! Yes, the birds are coming back. I feel nauseous. More tomorrow....
