Dear friends, I did enjoy all the kind words, concerns, and many stories while I’ve been gone. I’ve been keeping myself very very very busy. Trying to work myself to death getting projects completed. I will be back soon because there is plenty to say. Those penguins are definitely stupid! Patrick, you are so correct. Growing up as a kid down in Miami somebody would say, there’s a Coke machine! Pull over to it. It was really a Pepsi machine and we would get a Pepsi. Too funny!
Oh Chris, that is to funny! Live stream? You'd probably think you were visiting a nursing home, or funeral home with occasional characters portraying slow, stupid people.
Wow! I haven't posted anything substantial in about a week. Believe me, I've thought about things to say every day. We'll start off with stupid, and then move on to GROSS!!! Last Monday afternoon we're preparing to watch the Sunday rained out Daytona 500. I'm still piddling around cleaning up the mess I make every day. The female penguin comes outside to inform me I just missed the fly over Daytona Speedway by the Blue Angels. I stopped and looked that crazy bird right in the eyes and said, "Jane, I didn't miss anything." "They just flew over, pointing up to the sky, on their way back to their base!" Jane says, "Oh, I didn't know you could see them from here." She walked back in the house and I just shook my head. We live 200 miles south of Daytona. That stupid bird will believe anything! Yay for me!!! Every year the neighbors down the street do a pool for the race winner(s). It costs 5 bucks a ticket. I bought 4 tickets. I had 3 crappy drivers and William Byron, #24. If you have ever watched the Daytona race, or Talladega, you know it's a crap shoot. There's always going to be a BIG wreck and the winner wins by pure luck, not driving skill. Well sure enough, on the last lap there was the "BIG ONE." I seriously couldn't tell if William Byron or Alex Bowman had won! It was that close. Finally after a few replays of the finish William Byron was declared the winner. Yay!!! I won $100!!! Well, not really, considering it cost 20 bucks to get the 4 drivers I picked out of a hat. Back to stupid... Somebody said it's like the movie Ground Hog Day down here. It most certainly is! Almost every morning the birds take a walk around the block, remember, they're down here so the male penguin can get some exercise or HE WILL DIE! Monday morning, Sunday's cold front turned into Monday's chilly and blustery day. The penguins go for their walk. They were back in 30 seconds. Probably didn't make it 2 houses away. It was in the upper 60's. I can't believe they can't walk around the block with their long pants on, along with long sleave T-shirts and a jacket. Good grief! By the way, I was wearing shorts and as T-shirt. If you were working it wasn't really cold. So they stayed inside most of the day. Exercise my a*s!!! They watched TV and stuffed their faces. Tuesday was a little warmer, low 70's and the wind had become calm. Same routine every day. They made it around the block 1 time all day. As soon as they were finished with the walk the male bird went in to watch TV. The female sits on the front porch out of the breeze and in the sun. Yes, she's still wearing long pants, a shirt, and a sweater. OMG!!! It's in the low 70's with barely a breeze. These birds are cold blooded! (I just went in the house to get some muffins with my coffee. The female bird comes out of the bathroom and hears me in the kitchen. "I was wondering who was in the kitchen." "I was just going to get Dick up." That's GROSS!!! As I'm walking out of the house I could just see her in the male penguin's room rubbing him. "Come on Dick, get up." Lady, it ain't gonna happen!) Back to stupid... EVERY DAY is the same routine. Maybe a walk around the block, female bird sits on the front porch like a scarecrow, male bird goes back in and watches TV. Around lunch time the male bird comes out for a minute. "I'm getting a little hungry Jane." She goes in and fixes them lunch. He goes and takes a nap after lunch, and she comes back outside to scare the squirrels. This IS NOT a lie, she sits back out front on the porch. Then she gets back up and walks to "my area" by the picnic table. She mumbles something about "Every day I go in to make lunch and while I'm gone the sun moves on me." "I wonder why it does that?" WTF!!! Apparently, she doesn't understand that the sun comes up in the east, moves across the sky, and sets in the west. Whoa! So now she's in my area. You know what she's going to do.... Try to talk to me. I don't want to talk. I'm doing stuff! This woman is just like the little talking dolls with the string coming about of her back, and someone is always pulling the dam string. She doesn't shut up! Wednesday... Pretty much the same routine with tiny variances. They're complaining that it's cold inside the house. It's 70 degrees? I tell them both, it's getting into the mid 70's today. I'm going to open some windows and the back French doors to let some warmer fresh air inside. They had smiles on their beaks. EVERY TIME I walked to the part of the house where the French doors were, they were CLOSED!!! I tell them, "Look, I've got 4 windows open on the north side of the house, and the French doors open on the south side of the house. If you keep closing the doors there will be no air flow through the house and it's not going to warm up in here. They both smile like they understood what I said. (Oh ya, you know what I'm going to say...) Fifteen minutes later I come around to the side of the house where the French doors are, and they are closed!!! I quit!!! If they are cold, they caused their own problem! Wait, wait, wait... Thursday it is even warmer. With the nighttime chill the house is still at 70* inside. The female bird asks me if she can open the French doors to let some warm air in. I smiled at them and said sure. I didn't tell them that I had closed the 4 windows that were open Wednesday evening. Opening the French doors made no difference 'cause there was no air flow through the house. Too funny! Friday... I didn't know we were going to have a "family" dinner, but we did. The female bird was making some recipe she saw on the internet. Oh boy. My older son and I had some shrimp we were going to fry up and eat. My younger son comes over with family and they're all eating the stuff the female bird cooked up. I was starving while I was waiting for my oldest son's family to get here, so I went in and got some of the slop the female bird cooked up. It looked good, smelled good, it didn't taste good. I'm starving so I continue to eat it. Jane, sitting across the table from me asks me, "What do you think of the meal I made?" I told you all, she talks A LOT!!! She continues talking and tells me, "Everyone tells me it tastes like Hamburger Helper." "I never had Hamburger Helper." "What does that taste like?" I looked up and said, "****!!!" Everyone at the table busted out laughing!!! After dinner.... Oh boy, its Jeopardy time, almost. Jane tells Dick, who has control of the TV remote, put on Jeopardy Dick! You all know they've been here waaaaaay to long! They do nothing but watch TV. You would think they would have figured out by now how to use the remote. NOT!!! Dick fumbles soooo much with the remote that the TV went into spasms! The TV just froze up and started blinking. I never saw a TV do that before. My wife took the remote away from her dad, turned the TV off, and re-started it. She puts on channel 12. Jane squawks, "Why isn't Jeopardy on?" ("The evening news was still on.) My wife tells her, "It's only 6:45 mom." You're going to have to wait 15 minutes. OMG!!! I really felt like I was in the social hall of a nursing home. Gross... I get up early, 5 AM, every morning unless we were out partying the night before. I have 2 cups of coffee, then breakfast. That's my schedule. Their schedule is all over the place. One morning I go in to get a bowl of cereal. I realize the male bird is cleaning his dentures at the kitchen sink. WTF!!!!!! Are you serious? Why don't you do that in the bathroom where no one can see you? That's GROSS!!! I told you all my wife had to go out and buy her dad one of those tall seats that you put on the toilet. That's gross! So now I haven't been able to use MY toilet / bathroom because I'm NOT going to sit on that weird seat. Yuck! So when I have to pee in the middle of the night I have to get dressed and walk to the other end of the house to use my wife's bathroom. Maybe that's not gross, but it IS a PITA!!! Just heard more gross.... Little bird took big bird for his walk around the block. Jane bird comes out of the house and says, "Where did they go?" I tell her they went for the morning walk. She says, "I had to clean the toilet." "I told them I'd walk after I clean the toilet!" More gross.... I guess big bird **** all over the toilet, again. That's DISGUSTING!!! One more week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may be only 10:15 but I'm ready for a BEER!!!!!!
More stupid, the recycle buckets. They are so unbelievably simple. The yellow bins get paper products, and the blue bins take bottles, aluminum cans, and most plastics. Every single day the female penguin messes up. Here’s an example of a pastry container. It’s plastic but I don’t think the recycling plant wants the birds dirty napkins! She’ll bring out boxes, like her sweet and low box. She doesn’t break the cardboard down. Within two days she has the entire bin taken up with two or three boxes. Such simple things that they just don’t seem to understand. PS, my wife took them up to the ball park to watch the great grandchildren play soccer. I can’t tell you how nice it is when everyone is gone and I have the whole house to myself. Feels like I’m in heaven! I did have a cold beer right after they left. I think I might have another.
I'm glad you have not stopped by here. If you had you would have thought I had a flock of penguins. Wife has been up north for almost 2 weeks. I have been very busy doing coconut candy, and that can be messy. Tomorrow I start cleaning as she will be here n Tuesday. Already told the wife I would get rid of all my girlfriends before she gets here,
I forgot all about the Daytona 500 being on Monday and only caught from the "Big One" on. Glad you won some money on William Byron buddy! Maybe because most of my family is in Florida, and the her family is pretty sane, we don't have may visitors come to stay with us. If they were like your flock of penguins, I might snap... Hope the next week goes by quick for ya! Though I do like reading this saga once a year...
I don't know if this is relevant, but here's to you John. (Waterboy.) (Hope you catch the implied message...) https://www.youtube.com/shorts/e9T2sgQBQUI
This weekend... It was definitely "Ground Hog Day." Those birds do the same stupid stuff day after day. Remember the windows open along with the French doors? Saturday was the same stupid all over again. I specifically told them I'm opening the windows and the DOORS. Every time I looked the doors were closed. Dam! Then to really make me laugh inside, as the sun was setting and the temperatures began dropping, they opened the doors. My thoughts, someone should pray for them!!! I told you all about the "Hamburger Helper" the female bird made on Friday. I told you all how bad it tasted. Guess what? The leftovers are still sitting in the refrigerator. No one is going to eat that crap. I should go in and put it in the backyard for my stray cat. He probably won't eat it either! Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday with one exception. Female bird invaded my space at the wrong time. I ordered some wiper blade refills from Classic Industries. $11.95 a piece and THEY DON'T WORK!!! The metal band that supports the rubber and slides into the tabs on our wipers was to wide. I was really becoming frustrated as I was trying to get them to fit. The female bird was in my area and kept talking to me. I just ignored her! Just in case you didn't get the hint... DO NOT buy wiper blade refills from Classic Industries! I did order some new wiper blades from........... I don't remember??? I'll tell you when they show up this week. Anyway, they said they WOULD NOT fit my 1969 Buick Skylark. These are the entire stainless-steel part that snaps on the wiper arm with a new rubber blade. I looked at the 4 pictures they had for the wiper blades. They sure looked like our wiper blades. Then I read the reviews. 3 people said someone needs to edit what cars they fit because all 3 people, 69 Chevelle, 71 Chevelle, and a guy with a 68 GTO all said they fit great even though the seller's website said they don't. They were $25 a piece. I know, ouch! I'll let you all know when I get it. It's a beautiful Monday morning here. A bit chilly right now, but it should warm up to around 80. Y'all have a GREAT day!!! I believe they are leaving in 6 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life will be GREAT soon!!!!!!
I got these from Todd at Stage One for my car. They fit perfectly... https://www.stage1restoration.com/product/wiper-blades-trico/ Just think, in another 19-ish days, you'll have people there you want to talk to!
First in-line is Bill Bell. Bill, you must be reading my mind! Maybe not? 6,5,4,3,2,1, Is that how many more days before I BLOW UP??? Right now, I could blow the whole place up!!! Rich, you're up to bat. Wow!!! I did not know Todd sold them. Yes, that is them exactly! The ones I bought we're Trico made, but from Amazon. Luckily I only paid $3 more than what Todd is selling them for. Very nice lead good buddy! I've got 2 more cars to buy for, so your post made my day!!! Just finished having "family dinner" as Fred said. Fred knows my schedule really well. FRED... Tonight's dinner was definitely a giant FUBAR!!! Let's get on with the show..., So it is family dinner night. We're going to have pork tenderloin. Was it delicious? I don't know. We never ate it. My wife, little penguin, didn't take the meat out of the freezer soon enough. So we moved on to plan B. We ate Steak 'ums. That's fine. It was the people in the house that were not fine! I am really getting tired of them. I guess the 4th week is the trip-line! I really can't take them any longer. And longer it is. Found out they're not leaving till Monday. Well that certainly sucks!!! Dinner, a recurring nightmare. Here's how it goes. The 2 penguins sit on the couch letting out chirps. "I'm hungry." "When's dinner?" "Is Alex cooking yet?" "What's taking so long?" Then my wife stupidly makes an announcement, "dinners done." Why is that a stupid announcement? I know her parents are just penguins, but that announcement turns the birds into raging bulls!!! I've never seen them move so fast. The fastest movement all day. (By the way, they've eaten all day long! More on that later.) So Jane, the enabler, fixes "slow Dick's" dinner first. She's second in-line. You could say she's the line leader, or the fata*s in the way! No doubt she's talking and spilling food. Finally, she's out of the kitchen. (By the way, I'm NOT in the house yet. I know the routine all too well.) When I see just about everyone seated, I'll go in the house. (OMG!!!, the TV is on! We don't watch TV during dinner. We converse) I fix my plate, and I sit at the children's table on a little stool. Believe me, I'd much rather sit at the children's table than have to eat and converse with them! Tonight, there weren't enough people. I had to sit at the adult table and watch slow Dick try to eat his food, and Chatty Cathy doesn't STFU!!!!!!! Good Lord she can find NOTHING to talk about. So, while I'm trying to NOT listen to Chatty Cathy, I see slow Dick just get up from the dinner table, leave his plate full of half-eaten food sitting on the table along with his drink, and he goes back to the recliner to finish watching Matlock. WTF!!! Who is cleaning up his mess??? That's BS! I'm still unfortunately eating and having to endure CC tell me about the affordable housing they saw in downtown Lake Worthless. This woman is out of her mind!!! They're building all these unbelievably expensive condos and she's telling me she saw "affordable housing right there. I flat out told her she had no idea what she was talking about! She didn't stop. She said she saw a sign that said 55 and over. What??? That is NOT affordable housing. You're bonkers in the head lady! (My wife gave me a nasty look. I smiled back at her!) Believe me, CC tried to continue the argument. (I just went to my garage and got the bottle of Tequilla out of the fridge and took a big swig.) That *itch pisses me off! The conversation changes and we're talking about food. CC say's, I don't eat very much. WHAT A LIE!!!!! That *itch eats ALL day long!!! My kitchen has never had more packaged JUNK food laying all over the counters and in the refrigerator. (We really rarely have junk food. We're just not into it.) Finally, I'm finished with my dinner. I take my plate to the kitchen, rinse it off, and put it in the sloshy thing. (Thank you, Patrick!) While I'm putting my plate in the sloshy thing my most awesome Grandson brings in the penguins' plates. Right away he confides in me, "I have to clean up their mess?" But wait... He continues to digress. "Look at GGpa's plate." "Why did he take so much if he wasn't going to eat it all?" He continues, "And he just gets up from the table without cleaning up his plate and sits back down to watch TV." (I know, kids understand rules.) Then he says, "Does GGma ever stop talking?" I just looked at him with caring eyes and said, "I know buddy, pathetic." Sidebar... The Grandkids knew about GGma's big mouth years ago. My son shows up after school with the kids. They get out of the truck and run towards Ricky's house behind me. (Ricky is my nephew and he has 3 kids their age.) Holley takes off towards the sidewalk. John is going to cut through the backyard. She yells, "John, don't go that way!" John runs towards the sidewalk and looks at Holley like, What? "Holley says, GGma is in the backyard." "If she sees you, she's going to talk your head off!" I almost fell down laughing!!!!!! Ya, they know about Chatty Cathy! Dear Bill Bell, I never wrote a Dear Bill letter before. So, the 6,5,4,3,2,1... Anyone taking bets? I must be slow? It's either in reference to the day they're leaving, or the day I kick them OUT!!! I learned today that they are not leaving until Monday morning. Sigh... At least I know what morning to pop open a beer and light off the fireworks. Plus my wife is driving them up north and won't be back until Thursday. A totally quiet house!!!!! AWESOME!!! Oh well, thank you all for letting me vent. I feel much better. It could have been the big chug off of the Tequilla bottle, or the fact that I will be gone hopefully ALL day tomorrow!!!!!! I'm going to meet a fellow brother of the Mullet Mafia in Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow. It will be a GREAT day!!! 7 more mornings, but tomorrow is already scratched off because I'm leaving before they come outside. Yes!!!
See post 1373 - (wow 1300+ posts!) I was referring to what you said about the day they are leaving...and factored in their past performance! And I see now its Monday! We are sighing with you - hang in there!
To me... It seems like this years migration flew by really quick. I wasnt there in person so to John it probably seemed much longer. Most species migrate to breed, Know anything about the mating ritual, John? Think it has something to do with gathering stones or in this case crumbs to make a nest.
