HELP!!! My penguins are driving me crazy...

Big butt, big butt, what you gonna do? I don’t know what she was going to do but she was walking northbound.

 

A bar maid with (cl)ass!

 

That was yesterday and today is today. It’s always good to have yesterday dreams in your head.
Rich, I got my Trico 16 inch replacement blade yesterday. You are correct, they fit perfect! Now I need to order another one.

 

Wow Buddy, thanks for sharing!

That was cool to be able to hang with Lucas, too!

Glad those Trico's worked out for you.

 

Just landed in Seattle for my 5 hour layover before I take off for home in Montana....my family all lives in Alaska so we don't get together much, but my dad, brothers, and I all flew down to Miami for a men's trip and went on a cruise called the "Rock Legends Cruise" for five days from there to the Dominican Republic....Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, Sammy Hagar with Michael Anthony, Bret Michaels, Kentucky Headhunters, Canned Heat, and a bunch of other bands are on the ship with you, there's concerts and meet and greets and all kinds of stuff to do the whole time, and the bands are just walking around on the ship so you get to b.s. with them, gamble, and just hang out...great time....we gave ourselves a couple days after we landed back in Florida to spend relaxing, so I gave the ever famous, one and only, Waterboy a text to come get us and show us the "sights", and what sights there are there . John's about as good a host as you could hope for, and the man likes to roll like my brothers and I do, so worked out great. Had a blast, went to the everglades, beaches, bars, and just people watched....that could be a days long event in itself....anyway, I'll post a few pics here, and thanks John! Freakin' awesome to meet you my friend....if you ever get down that way, get a hold of John, he knows the spots...

 

Whats that growing out of John's head?

 

I know Fred. I just looked at that picture and thought I had devil’s ears. I hope they continue to grow.
I looked at it again on my computer screen. I think it's a unicorn. Careful, I think it could be deadly!

 

BREAKING NEWS... Young man, dam right, kills 3 penguins. News at 11.
They're testing my limits. As Popeye said, "That's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!" Another family dinner. I know? I think slow Dick is having his 3rd birthday party today, and his birthday is not until next week!
We had my wife's crazy Aunt over here tonight. She's got the beginnings of dementia and is stuck in an assisted living facility now. So her sister, the female penguin, was sooooo argumentive to this crazy woman. EVERYTHING Jane brought up was intended to be "fighting words." I talked with the crazy woman for a while. She told me things that couldn't possibly be true, and I just agreed with her. Why? Why upset her? It was actually fun to mess with her head. I can't believe the female penguin found EVERY little thing to upset her sister. She's the messed up one!!! Talking... I've told you all about "Chatty Cathy's" many paragraphs. Sometimes it's as though some one pulled the talking string coming out of her back and words just come out. Not a cohesive sentence, just words.
The pizzas showed up and of course Jane, the "doesn't eat very much" literally followed the pizza into the kitchen. I'M FIRST!!! As I said before, I don't go in the house until I see most of the "STARVING" people get to the table. I'm standing outside sipping my cold beer, thinking about having to go in there. My grandson... He comes outside to get something out of the garage fridge, and says something like, "Why does GGma keep trying to start a fight with her sister?" Wow! Even an 8 year old could see what was happening!!! I finally go in the house when I see just about everyone seated at the table. I get my pizza and go to my punishment; I mean seat at the table. Of course, Chatty Cathy is monopolizing the conversation. I watched carefully how she SHOVED a big hunk of pizza into her mouth, and she could still manage to talk over the top of everyone! Wow! CC thinks her sister is crazy. The things that came out of her mouth were amazing! Sometimes it seemed as though words without thought just fell out of her mouth. When she's telling a story, and she doesn't remember the correct word for something she calls it a "whatcha doodle." She said that word a lot as she was describing places my son took them on their tourist drive. "SHE DOESN'T EAT MUCH" So Chatty Cathy, the bird that professes to NOT eat much shoves two GIANT slices of pizza down her throat. As soon as she finishes, she is already asking about dessert. She got the BIGGEST slice of upside-down pineapple cake! Yes, she shoved it down her mouth while she was talking over everyone. Slow Dick... He also had 2 slices of pizza on his plate. I'm sitting next to him watching him struggle just eating one BIG slice of pizza. When he finished the first BIG slice he got up from the table. What? He still had another whole slice of pizza on his plate. He walks away with his plate and untouched 2nd slice of pizza. I go in the kitchen and he's just standing there as though he didn't know what to do. So, what is he thinking? "Do I put the uneaten slice of pizza back in the pizza box?" YUCK!!! Or "do I throw it in the garbage?" I don't know what he ended up doing because I quickly got another slice of pizza and left the kitchen. Every night CC puts too much food on his plate! Then he either throws it away, or he puts it in the refrigerator as a never to eat again leftover. These people are FREAKS!!!
FRIGGING LEAP YEAR!!! Are you serious? I'm stuck here with these visitors from hell that are not leaving until March 4th, and this year had to have an extra day in February. Say it's not so! I can't take them any longer!!!

I really need to take notes during the day because I had soooo much more to complain about, but I've forgotten a lot of what I've witnessed. I should have been put in the witness protection plan! That's it for right now. I need to figure out what I can do today so I don't see them very much. We're starting to get some mosquitoes again. I could spray the whole yard with some insecticide. That could possibly keep them inside. I really need to get a picture of the floor under the dining room table. Holy sh*t it is covered in crumbs and smeared food. Roaches are coming!!!

 

You live in Florida; I thought all the coastal states called them ‘Waterbugs’ to be less gross about the inevitable. I knew a Charleston native who, in her lowcountry accent, called them ‘wutterbuhgs’. She was in her 90s, lived beachfront, and made a mean 11am bloody mary. She had family from ‘uhp nohrth’ who invaded often, yet she never seemed bothered by them. WB, maybe there’s a lesson or two! Couple bloody marys for breakfast, a trip to the ocean and accepting that ‘wutterbuhgs’ are just part of life…
Patrick

 

Patrick, as always you are cracking me up and putting a smile on my face. Thank you! For those Northerners up there that didn’t understand your slang, I understood it perfectly. I could even hear it in my ears. My aunt and uncle who lived on a farm in SE Virginia talked just like that. When my uncle would chew chewing tobacco I couldn’t understand him at all!

 

Patrick,
You are correct. They are water bugs! Not the roaches, the Penguins. My wife told me to spray the house, so I did. Ran those water bugs right out of the house. Then I sprayed the outside of the house with the hose adapter and poison. I have them sitting right now, actually they set themselves there, On the extreme peripheral of the house. I should’ve done this weeks earlier!

 

Down here in SW Florida we call them (the Roaches, not the Penguins ) Palmetto Bugs.

 

You are cracking me up John Codman. And I believe you are correct on the Palmetto bugs. They are at least 2 inches long, they can fly, and I’ve seen them around the top of Lake Okeechobee actually have pincher claws in the front. Scary looking!

 

Some sites say Palmettos and Waterbugs are different, but I’ve always heard the terms interchange (and sound much more polite than cockroach). I do know they’re different than the little green/brown bastards I saw in a friend’s rental house once-uuugh).

https://charlestonmag.com/features/palmetto_bug
https://www.planetnatural.com/palmetto-bug/
Patrick

 

Patrick,
What is that saying, “putting lipstick on a pig.”
You can call them a water bug if you want, but they are flat out nasty

 

So today I discovered that the female penguin, I mean cockroach, I mean water bug, can move away from the poison. She’s still on the far perimeter of the property. The male cockroach, not so good. He went to his bed and committed suicide. Actually I did not spray his room, but I did spray the entryway to my room!!!!!!!!’

 

I remember seeing those HUGE roaches when we went to visit one of my mother's relatives in Florida in the early 1970's. I remember seeing the little roaches up in SC, but those Florida things made the cats and dogs leave.

 

In South Carolina, we call the big ones Palmetto Bugs.

 

Follows as you are the Palmetto State. Are they the state bird?