Can you tell I have nothing to do at work today? Living the life of Riley. Purrs like a kitten. Getting the short end of the stick. Got the bum's rush. Lay an egg. Bring home the bacon. (mmm Bacon & eggs) Need it like pockets on pajamas. Behind the eight ball. Toe the line.
disclaimer: I substitiuted the word "teets" for the slang to keep it PC. Useless as teets on a boar hog. Colder than a witch's teet. That just chaps my :moonu: Dumber than a box of rocks.
It's like a sore peter... you can't beat it. Here's one that my dad always says... The more hair you lose, the more head you get
make like a tree, and get out (Biff Tannen "Back to the Future") your happy meal is missing the secret toy surprise
heres one we use at work all the time, kinda describes the workplace rather well... "I guess stupid is contagious" once watched the mech at work deal for a half hour with one of the winners about some stupid problem then went to fill up a truck with oil and knew it took 5 quarts, but stared at the little dial going around, five times, then looked at me and said that phrase, lol, i almost peed myself, for those that dont know one time one this type of oil gun is a gallon, not quart, so he calls it "an engine oil flush" laughs and goes on his day.. ou:
Ok Here Goes....... YOUR MAMA. WHO'S YOUR DADDY. EAT THE BEAVER AND SAVE A TREE. WHILE YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE WITH THE "I JUST PUMPED THE NEIBORS CAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE". ITS ALIVE. BREAK YOUR MAMA"S BACK. YOUR BUSTING MY B@LL"S. I CALLED SHOT GUN. AAAAH BITCH MAN. I SHOT THE SHERIFF. IN A HEART BEAT. HEY BUBBA. SMOKE THIS. YEAH YEAH YEAH. PULL THE HINGES OFF OF HELL. IF IT SWELL"S RIDE IT. YOU SHOT YOUR LOAD. SH*T"S AND GIGGLES. DROPPED THE BALL ON THAT ONE. I ONLY SLEEP WITH THE BEST. YOU TOUCHA DA SHIRT I BREAKA DA FACE. SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND. I"M NOT AS THINK AS YOU STONED I AM. THIS ONE"S FOR THE GIPPER. HER GRIPPER"S ARE WORN OUT. IT"S ALL GOOD. YOU BETTER BELIVE IT. HOLY CREEPIN CRUDE. BACK ON THAT SUCKER. NIXON NOW. DRAIN THE LIZARD. CUT A TURD. DON"T DO ME ANY FLAVOR"S. FUBAR. THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT. A PERFECT 10 IN MIKE JACKSONS EYE"S.... TWO FIVE YEAR OLDS. THAT"S THE END............ BILLY. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Eat my shorts So hard a cat coud not scratch it Tighter than a tick's azz Harder than a wedding d*ck Harder than Chinese arithmetic She had buck teeth so bad, she could eat corn on the cob thru a picket fence
when there is a real dumb a** you say, He would have been better off running down his moma's leg. ( as in way back when he was sperm )
I always heard it like this...A butt so big you could set an ashtray and a drink on it....and still dance with her !!! ou:
