...you're at a funeral, and there is a dog sitting on the front row, and the pallbearers load the casket into the bed of a short box pickup truck, with the tailgate down, and it then leads the procession to the cemetery. A true story, as I'm sitting here witnessing it... And all this time, I thought I'd seen everything in this business...until we opened a location across the state line in Arkansas! YEE-HAW!!!! (this one is for you, Stefina!) ------------------------ Hillbilly Racing Team Riding to eternity in a short-box 4wd hearse...
Tie a ham to each leg and let the dogs drag him out of town :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Now I need to know........how many had Big Gulps, shorts and most important of all shoes? :laugh:
Brian made mention of this thread while in Stanton this weekend...well, I had to work the morning I got home, and it was through our Arkansas location...and the irony of the timing made me laugh out loud! Check it out...while I was filling out the dc (that's a death certificate for you folks in the plain clothes division!) I asked the mother of our "client" for the gentleman's middle name...with an Arkansas draw she replied... BUCKSHOT!!!! Honest injun...there's no way I could make that kinda thing up! :laugh: ----------------------------- Hillbilly Racing Team Membership has it's privileges...no shoes required!
The Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Arkansas State Lottery? A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas? A: Everyone has the same DNA. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A new law recently passed in Arkansas: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two Arkansasians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Arkansasian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do folks in Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do you get when you have 32 Arkansasians in the same room? A: A full set of teeth.
Let me know if that happened in Fulton County, I might have to send a sympathy card to my Cousin's sister. :laugh:
My brother-in-law (a mortician in a small town) tells the story of receivng a midnight phone call from the black (his words not mine) funeral home in the next little town down the highway. The frantic voice on the other end asked for some "ear wax". "Ear wax" is a wax apparently used to reconstruct ears, noses etc. My Brother-in-law said he had some but it was white (his words not mine). The frantic voice said he didn't care and that he had to have the wax that night. So my B-in-law drives to his office to meet the guy and won't let the wax go until he hears the story. You have to understand this little town maybe has 300+ people. The embalming room has a DIRT floor, yes a DIRT floor and what equates to a barn door to the outside. How this is legal if it is legal, I don't know. Anyway the guy proceeds to tell the story to my B-in-law...[read this in your memories best small town hic voice] "Me and the wife went out and I was going to embalm (insert body's name here) when I got back. When I opened the door and turned on the light there was a possum on his face and he ate the boys nose CLEAN OFF". The funeral was the next day. There must have been some creative wax work going on that night. Rick
Arkansas.... Fifteen million people, ten last names Last words spoken in a truck in Arkansas prior to an accident....."hold my beer, I wanna try something"
OOHHH Come you guys.... Now was there not a famous moonshiner eeeerrrrr NASCAR racer named Buckshot Jones. and as far as the noes goes thats easy. Y yes Mam he was a big hunter uh er y yes mam Thats woodland camo his favorite pattern. Larry :beer
Thought I'd update this with a story from our southern Missouri office... Friday before last, dad took the day off to go to the Musclecar Reunion up @ KCIR...so, I was stuck holdin' down the fort by myself...luckily, we didn't have anything going at work that day, and I decided to leave a little early from work to run to the hardware store, as well as some other errands. Now, lemme paint this picture for ya...being originally an old, old house there is an attached breezeway on the south side of the building, where we park a couple of the "work" cars, which that day were an '07 Montana van with one of our hearses parked behind it...it's about 3:20pm, and the school busses are going by as I lock the doors & shut off the lights...I open the door to enter the breezeway, where my truck is parked on one end, but as I step down into the breezeway I just happen to look over between the front of the hearse and the rear of the van, when I see a young girl pop her head up! Then, about that time, up jumps a young boy, and he takes off! While he's hoofing it back towards the school, the young girl is trying to throw her clothes back on while trying to make tracks...I'll leave to your imagination what they were doing there...! Was a bit of a surprise to say the least...:laugh:
my wifes uncle died and his 3 x-wifes show up, all are redheads and all named Mary. He was buried with his Dale Earnhart hat on.:bglasses: :laugh:
You know your in Ark. when.. And I swear to you this is the truth. I was in Little Rock for about a year working. One day I went past one of those self service car washes. The was a pickup with a couch in the back and they were washing the couch. I really could not wait to leave after seeing that.
Re: Thought I'd update this with a story from our southern Missouri office... Sister and brother? o No:
One of my friends in Nashville told me that if Tennessee donated Memphis to Arkansas it would raise the I.Q. level in both states!
This kind of stuff is why I love this band... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us2GeL4Ymu0&feature=related www.scots.com
