Addiction is a powerful thing. You stated that you were 18 months sober, so you should understand the power of addiction. Booze, smokes, drugs, whatever grabs you can take control. If you quit drinking without help, more power to you, most people can not with out help. An addicted person will almost always take the easy road, walking away from a relationship is much easier than quiting cold turkey. She needs to want to quit, then she needs you support! For you to put that ultimatium in front of her was not fair, regaurdless of what she said or did. Now if she did someting that was totaly unaceptable to you, that you can't ever get over, walk away from the relationship and move on. If however, you think that this is who you want to be with, then start with a date, dinner, and TALK! You have to be with her for who she is, not who you want her to be. You can not change a person, trying to will always ruin a relationship. I've been married for 17 years, to my best friend. She accepts me for me (Flaws included) and I for her (Flaws included). She says she doesn't care for the cars, but guess who bought me my 7 hp compressor or let me build my garage? How did we make it this long? We talk through everything! Nothing is hidden! A relationship takes work everyday. Don't think I live this fairytale life, there's been days:spank: Best of luck to you! Rich
Wow Frank , small world..I was BORN in Lincoln , my moms family is all from Howland [ next to Lincoln ] there is not much up that way but paper mills and flanel wearin pickup truck folks, many of whom "grow their own", I was fortunate enough to grow up in the Bangor area, which is MUCH different , and I was lucky enough to attend the University of Maine in Orono for 4 years, so I don't fit the mold of many of the "locals"... I have realistic goals for my son, and most importantly I want him to be HAPPY and to be HIMSLEF , so far, so good. As for the girlfriend ? Well the borderline infidelity is over at least for now because she doesn't have time and she sold her house so moving is in order,not sure what exactly is going to happen, just taking it one day at a time...And she proved me wrong, she quit smoking...now if she can learn to tell the truth all the time like I do [ and yes I really DO tell the truth , all the time, good or bad ] then we might have a chance....
