apparently i pay a landscaping company to cut my grass

Pimp juice 3000!!! When she comes in tell her you want a lemonade. When she gives it to you spit it on the floor and say "with real lemons"

 

Wait weren't we talking about steaks.

 

I fall somewhere in between. It’s probably “employees ask me for help while I’m having sex with my wife in the hardware store on weekdays.” And, I own a pressure washer and know how to use it.

 

My pressures washed consist of a hose and me scrubbing real hard.

 

In the lucky zone!

 

I could say so much ,, but I will just say my situation is not on the list!

 

I'm feeling left out with all this pressure washer talk. Guess I better break mine out today!

 

It puts you in high clover, man! Keep doing whatever you are doing.

 

According to the chart, I have my lawn mowed and have sex wife my wife regularly. Funny. I usually do both by myself.

 

Wife said she would pressure wash the drive but didn't finish the whole thing.



Trying to decide whether I should say anything.

 

Probably best for you NOT TO!!!!

 

Enema with pressure washer could be very painful.

 

Video that conversation when you do......We definitely want to see it......

 

I like dark meat with a warm pink center...so I’m somewhere between having sex (with my wife) on the weekdays and paying landscapers to cut my grass.

 

So I was laying in my hammock the other day while the wife was cutting the grass. My nosy neighbor was leaning over our fence and said "You outta be hung for making her mow the yard!"
I replied "I am, why do you think she cuts the grass?"


sorry had too...

 

Dead man just dead. Whatever you do don’t eat a rare hamburger. Totally different deal than steak. When they grind hamburg the meat comes out like spaghetti and outside gets all mixed in. The outside is full of bacteria and now it’s on the inside. This is what makes you sick guys. Cook hamburgers until at least 155 degrees F. I prefer 165. With a steak outside bacteria gets killed. Many people have gotten sick from this over the years and always blame restaurants or other food when it is because they ate undercooked or raw hamburger. Next time you buy some hamburger just break it open. See the brown? That’s the bacteria that grew on the outside. Bon appetite!

 

Tell you a real horror story. An ex roommate who was a real attractive girl grabbed the bowl I had been marinating chicken in and drank the marinade right from the bowl before I could yell at her. Amazing she did not get sick. She must have had great stomach acids along with some great other things. A real knockout.

 

My kids are in charge of the thermostat.....
Wait! I don’t have any kids!
and my thermostat is automatic...

 

It amazes me that many American restaurants will ask how you want your hamburger cooked! I always reply with "well done" for the very reasons you mention. I cannot believe some people eat almost raw hamburger. Oh well, it's their gut..