Post your best bullcrap story you've ever heard here...

Ok here is a little lie I used to tell, it was a trap for all the supposed car guys in may college.....


I have a jeep wrangler with the 4.0L that I have owned since high school. At one point I had major problems with the Fuel injection system and swapped in a 4 barrel carb on it for about 8 months. I don't think I had it set up right because when the secondaries opened there would be a slight stumble and the jeep would take off.

Anyway, I also had a foglight switch that somebody put on the lower dash. I replaced the toggle with one of those red covered aircraft switches because my knee would hit it from time to time and turn it on (I'm 6'4").

So anyway A couple of buddy's and I were out crusing around one night in college and the shotgun passenger looks over and notices the switch.

"is that what I think it is?" he says,
"don't know (long pause) what do you think it is?" I say
"dude, you put nitrous in a jeep, that's phat" (this was back in 1997 when phat was still a popular word) he blurts out.

At this point the two back seat passengers who knew a little bit about cars looked at each other because they knew the switch was for the fog lights and that i didn't have nitorus in the car. They kept their mouth's shut, thankfully. The front seat passenger was a self proclamed car guy who used to talk to me about porches, audi's, ferrari's and the usual new euro trash. Basically a no nothing. Quick aside, Not to slam any euro car freaks here, but if you are claiming to be a car enthusast, the correct reponse to my statement "I think Alfa GTV's make one heck of a road race car" should not be "what is a GTV?". Anyway, back to the story....So after a minute I ask the now doe eyed subject of this story if he had ever been in a car with nitrous. He hadn't. So I launch into a fabrication about how it is a hidden system with he bottle in a panel under the rear seat, and the lines running trough the frame rails so it was stealth and the nozzles plumbed under the manifold for added stealth and the switch hooked up to the fog lamps in case anybody ever gets suspicious (by the way a friend of mine with a 5.0 did have his nitrous arming switch hooked to the fog lamps for steath at the street races) and...by this time he bought the thing hook line and sinker. The two guys in the back are nearly cracking up however. So after another dramatic pause I go "you wanna feel it". It about jumped out his skin. So I turned down this back road off of the main highway and brought the car to a stop. I told him if I launched with it he wouldn't feel it come on and I might blow the diff. I dumped the clutch of the jeep at part throttle to make him think i was flooring it, all the while holding the gas pedal halfway down so the secondaries wouldn't open. At once I flipped the switch and punched it....the jeep stumbled for a second then took off. The whole rest of the night I had to listen to how awsome that was and other such drivel. After we got back to the dorms he asked to see the system. I thought the jig was up but i figured what the heck. I opened the hood and pointed to some of the disconnected fuel injection plumbing. He was fooled. My other too friends were now hysterical . After that night, we decided to see how many faux car guys we could nail with this gag. When ever we were at a party and heard somebody talking car smack we'd take them fro a ride in the "nitroused jeep". We fooled about 2/3 of the people we met. Eventually, I saved enough to repair the Fuel Injection (new computer, new rail, new pump, another long story) and the legend of the juiced jeep actually became a legend.


On a followup note, I ran into the front seat passenger at a wedding in december of 2003 (having not seen him in 4 years). He was still talking about how fast my juiced jeep was and how it was the only time he had been in a nitrous car and how it scared him. I didn't have the heart to tell him.

 

That's a classic! I had a couple of my non-car-guy buddies convinced my car had nitrous in high school. It was a 64 Skylark with a 68 350-4. The power steering pump was shot, so it was always low on fluid and whirring. That was my gear drive. The carb would bog when it was floored and that combined with the switch pitch (which is what triggered the nitrous of course) made it an easy sell. "That thing was fast man, it would run 70 in first gear!!", of course it was only a two speed. It also overheated periodically, which of course was due to the extra temperatures and pressure of the nitrous. It wasn't a $500 piece, it was a sleeper....

 

this kid in my old highschool claimed that his stock integra type r mangled an 02 ws6 ls1 T/A 6spd....from a roll....


ugliest thing ever.

 

I had a buddy with a stock first year integra Type R (a real one, not one of those sissy fakes) and that car was no joke. I could see one giving a TA a run for its money, but beating it might be a little hard to swallow. A fake type R however...no way (the lack of a rear window wiper is the giveaway that a type R is real, the 1st year ones were basically gutted from the factory integras with hotrodded motors).

 

That a G.S is a "Hemi Killer".

 

I'm sure we could find somebody in your area to teach you about the GS MrNocar

 

Recently my son and I was working on his 70 GSX due to the floats sticking in in the Q-jet carb. A fellow pulled up in his ricer turbo car and started talking race cars. I mentioned my son (alaskabuick) and I usually race my 67 Chevelle pro-street car and shift the engine at 6600 rpm's with rev limiter set at 7400 rpm's. ( Will race Buicks this year and give the Chevelle a rest). He came back with a fairly reasonable story (at first it sounded good) of having a Camero with a tube frame and a very special balanced engine. He then stated he shifted this very special engine at 13,000 rpm's. Of course he had just sold the Camero and sure wished he had it back. After that statement we lost all interest in any further conversation with the fellow. By that time we had the carb problem fixed and made a quick exit. Just another BS story but always seemed strange to me when they go to such extremes with there stories.

Bob Swarthout

 

Just recently I was a Administrator on a Remote Control Message board, where one of the famous people-had alot of posts- he exclaims his father and him built a 68 mustang pro-street with a 845 horse mopar monster with blower.
Runs low 8s.

So I wanted to hear more, so I asked, he exclaims that it ran a 7.62@ 197..

That to me sounded fishy, but since I did not know ETs, I asked him to post it in the forums, because I lost his e-mail. He then posts it ran a 9.05@179.

I asked him repeatedly what happened to the original time he said it ran, and he would never answer. After months I find out he is 15. Kids...lol

 

When I was still running around the playgrounds it was always about how you presented your story...the more exaggeration the more other kids thought you were a bad ass. It wasn't until I took my first car that everyone thought was so fast to the dragstrip (and posted slow times) that I realized how fast was fast and how much myself and other kids knew little about fast cars. Since then I've learned, but others never did and they now drive fart pipe Hondas that are "FAST"...heheheh ou:

-Andy

 

His ford mustang had a dodge motor?

 

yeah, a mopar in a ford, cause it makes way more power, was his excuse.
I know better, and it wa slike a 505 or something crazy like that with a blower.
But he could not explain any of it to any of us, so as we all know, that smells like crap from the get go.

 

One on me

The 1st fall Rod Run we got the 78 Camaro done barely in time, as we were crusing we heard a loud roar from across the street from another 78. Ours is loud, shiney and customized but not a dragster. The guy looked over and roared his engine a few more times looking at me, I just grinned. He had spent his money on the engine but the car looked bad. My wife asked if I was going to do it back. Nope, right now he thinks we've got something faster under the hood and I'll just let him keep thinking it. If I do it back he'll know we don't. :laugh:

 

One more on my son-in-law

He is always saying he raced a beat everybody, no matter what he's driving. One day after work he caught me at a red light in his 96 SAAB and I was in the "Dragon Wagon" Tarus station wagon. He wanted to race. Light changed and I stopped and waited for him at the next light to pull up just to ask if he was embaressed. 2 days before he tried to keep up with me in a rice burner behind the Camaro, I think he stopped that day to cause I had to wait. Yet he still wins every race.

 

I know a kid who has a 5.0 Rustang. Its ALL stock, except for a few pulleys and exshaust. I saw him run a 5.50 after another at the track. He told me before the night was done (I left an hour before the end) and he said his reaction time was like .086. and he got a 14.98. Which i know is TOTAL BS!

But he says by this summer he will runs 12's cause he's gonna put headers, aluminum heads, an intake and maybe somethen else. He is a total bull shitter and says that his Rustang will beat a GN/T-Type sence they're so ''slow''

Its funny though, he has them 5-point belts in his Rustang and he doesnt even have a roll cage. I belive he only has the soulder straps for them, and they're bolted to the floor of his car!!! I told him if he gets in a wreck, his back will prob get ****ed up.

He's dumb.

 

I took the 66' Lesabre to a car show in september of 2004 on the way there exaust system already starting to fall off finally did, it sounded pretty cool rolled into town right in front of everybody (ya had to if u wanted to sign yor car up) as soon as i parked a friend of mine who is into rice burners asked if i had a big block i said no and i showed him the 340 he said buick never maid a 340 it's a dodge motor i just shook my head and left to look at cars i had people come up to me asking if it was realy a 340 dodge motor so i went along with it. stupid ricers.
pat
p.s. the lesabre was the only buick there

 

This is a few years ago, plus its BS, so I don't remember it very well.

A "mechanic" the owner hired at the BP I worked at was telling me of one of his friends who had a late-model pickup. One day on the freeway, the story goes, his accelerator stuck - and he ended up with a police escort at 140+ mph until he ran out of gas.

I asked why the engine didn't spin apart - well, some sort of governor. I asked why his friend didn't simply turn off the ignition - well, due to the electronics and fuel injection, that would have blown up the engine.

I just commented that it didn't make sense, and walked away.

(BTW, this "mechanic" once finished a brake job, and the boss decided to pull on the tires - for no reason. He didn't usually check our work. Turns out the guy forget to put the bearings back in.)

 

I'm relieved...

I'm relieved to not find any of my stories repeated on this thread! You guys are too kind....

...seriously, I think alot of kids in high school thought I was more full of bull than a septic tank! The good news is most of the stuff I talked about is still either in the basement at Dad's house or in my back barn...

The only story I can think of here is the kid down the street. He was a known pathological liar, usually having to do with sports or other conquests (self esteem issues, I suppose). He stumbled into my area of expertise when his parents bought a new 1978 Z28. All he would talk about was how "fast" this Z was, pretty much trash talking about my big ole slow black car.

Well I knew that little stock 350 couldn't be faster than my worked on 454 in the Chevelle; besides, by then I had been racing for a couple years and I had DATA (probably going high 13's or low 14's by then).

Finally, one day I had just cleaned the car up and took it out for a spin. He had just finished washing the Z and so we set up a little rendezvous out by the High School. I gave him the move (and a car length) and still easily cruised by, merging back into his lane and giving him a little "courtesy flash" (ie, blipped the brake lights) as I went by.

He seemed to be a convert after that; nothing but nice things to say about the Chevelle...

K

 

I love it when....

....someone tells me, "My brother had one of those, but it had a "450" in it."
Wow!, that must have been valuable, since no such engine was ever made.

But the best ever..... "that car has bored out cams!"

Come to think of it my friends from school aren't going to be forming a "think tank" anytime soon.

 

This kid was telling me about his 1985 Rustang 5.0 today at school. He told me it hade a carb but it hade fuel injectors. Me not knowing jack about Rustangs really, and knowin stuff about fuel injection and carbs (enough to get by) But i said ''well, my brothers 86 monte SS has a carb, and it doesnt have any fuel injectors'' and he said 'well i dont know but mine does. its weird'' Me thinking he's a total BS'er but later is when i didnt belive a single word.

I told him if he wanted a engine, get the 350 twin-turbo crate engine (me just kiddin cause i know he wouldnt get it and just sayin crap) he later trys to tell me, his mom has an 80's explorer (i dont know what years they were made so i belived it) and he says ''my mom has a 80's Explorer right now, and its in the shop and she has rims on it now and is getting the 350 crate twin-turbo motor in it'' and i said 'why?!'' and he said 'so she can let it sit in the yard, so when her friends come over, she'll rev it and all'' And i said 'bull ****! i dont belive it at all!''

He BS'ed left and right....He's an idiot.