My Mom

Discussion in 'Help From Above' started by faster, Feb 3, 2019.

  1. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    My mom Carmela Rose is 91 and dementia is making her very mean sometimes. This has been coming on for a couple of years now. One day she's mom and the next day she's someone I don't know. She treats dad horrible and he just patiently loves her through it.

    I know this will sound heartless but I pray for dad to have some time of peace and for mom to go first. I wanted to move them here with me a couple of years ago but mom pitched a fit and said no and dad did not want any more strife. He so desperately wants to move he and have family around. My prayer is he will get his wish.

    Thanks everyone...

  2. dan zepnick

    dan zepnick Well-Known Member

    Watched my mother in law go through that and Alzheimer's. Sometimes I think it's harder to watch than cancer.we placed her in a assisted living facility that helped some. Prayers for you and your family. Keep the faith and hope it gets better.
  3. 300sbb_overkill

    300sbb_overkill WWG1WGA. MAGA

    My prayers go out to you and your family Mikey.

    Maybe get mom to visit down there then ask her to move there when mom is being mom after she is there for a few days/weeks and is adjusted to being there? She may like the idea of being around family after she is?
  4. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    Prayers for your whole family... Im going through the same with my grandma. We just got to be thankful for the good years, old memories get me by. Inside there, they are still there. Keep her hydrated and feed. My Grandma "forgets" she's Thirsty and hungry.
    Its hard to see strong people get weak.
    BUICKRAT and Smokey15 like this.
  5. 2001ws6

    2001ws6 last of the v8 interceptors

    My mom is in the last stage of dementia. I was able to get her into a Health Center this past summer that has its own dementia floor. I've watched her deteriorate for the last 13 years. I can tell you, its the worst thing I've seen.
    The strain on my family has been hard. My sisters took it worse than myself. Primarily because I've been the one taking care of her everyday. Sad to say but I hope she finds some peace soon. Quality of life vs quantity.
    Prayers for you Mike and your family.
  6. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    Reminds me so much of the story of the elderly Gentleman who frequented the same restaurant every day. He left at exactly the same time every day. The waitress noticed his punctuality and asked him why he left at the exact same time. His reply was, My wife of over 60 years is in the nursing home next door. I go there to help feed her lunch. She has Alzheimer's and many times she does not even know who I am." The waitress asked him, "If she doesn't know who you are, why do you continue to go every day?" The Gentleman replied, "It's because I know who she is."
    If it ever comes to it, (God I pray not) where my wife is there, God willing to give me the health to, I will be exactly like that Gentleman.
    Mikey, my prayers to Mom, and her Family.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
  7. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    Some of the BEST people on here.
    DasRottweiler likes this.
  8. red67wildcat

    red67wildcat Well-Known Member

    Prayers to you.

    My Mom passed away last summer after several years of declining mental health due to dementia.
    The last year of her life we got her into a facility that was for dementia/alzheimers patients.
    It was a hard thing for some in the family at first to accept her being in a locked facility and eventually everyone realized it was the best for her as the memory care facility could give her 24 hour care.

    Until the end she had a few good days with all the bad ones but its heartbreaking when a parent is no longer the person you knew.
    It it a horrible disease.
    Again prayers to you and your family
  9. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your support and prayers. What a group!

  10. 1972Mach1

    1972Mach1 Just some M.M.O.G. guy.....

    Prayers for you and your family, Mike, and especially your Mom and Dad. My Mom is back down taking care of my Grandpa with dementia now. She was here for most the year in 2018 taking care of my Grandma, who passed in July from cancer, and she was also taking care of Grandpa while going through that. She stayed down for a few more months and got everything situated for my Grandpa to be put in a home. Well, she got the whole family in on it, got him in the home, and then my aunt and uncle had second thoughts and took him out of the home. Well, long story short, they were unable or incapable of taking care of him, and now my Mom is back cleaning up the mess. It is a tremendous amount of stress not only on those directly involved, but also on the extended families and friends. I know how you feel wanting your Dad to have some good years for himself, and I know it seems wrong wanting that. But I prayed for the same during my Grandma's fall from health, and I do the same for my family now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I will try to remember to say one each day for you, no matter how brief, just know I and many others here are thinking about you every single day.
  11. carmantx

    carmantx Never Surrender

    Tough tough thing to watch and see. Prayers for you! Such a terrible disease and caregivers are amazing people for sure.
  12. Briz

    Briz Platinum Level Contributor

    Tough for you to deal with Mikey. Just remember God is good and in control.
  13. 300sbb_overkill

    300sbb_overkill WWG1WGA. MAGA

    Nooooo, "God is great, beer is good and people are crazy".............

    Prayers again for you and your family, Mikey.
  14. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    Thanks, mom has been a handful for a couple of years now and I have three siblings who want different things for her but they all live at least a thousand miles away so I know the feeling of having to fix what they mess up then leave and I have to deal with the fallout.

    Not to sound cruel but I hope mom passes first so dad can come live with me and have some fun. I'm sure dealing with her 24/7 has got to be taxing on a 94 year old guy.

  15. GKMoz

    GKMoz Gary / Moz

    My wife and I took care of her uncle & aunt for a couple years both 93 /94 he with dementia, what we did was take him out to lunch when he was himself sort of? we moved his belongings at that time and when I took him "home" he never fussed at the facility ! he eventually couldn't swallow or do anything ! very sad situation all around Mikey! prayers my brother for your dilemma and your Mom's well being!
  16. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Gary...

    GKMoz likes this.
  17. PaulGS

    PaulGS Well-Known Member

    The hardest job in the world is being a caregiver.

    Best wishes going forward.
  18. docgsx

    docgsx It's not a GTX

    Adding you to our prayer list brother!

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