A Ricer's Kill

I read this on the TurboBuick.com board and thought it would get a few laughs here.....

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I was drivin around minding my own bidness in my Civic DX bubbleback thats hooked up I got the windows tinted, chromed out everything. Even my hubcaps.. s**t they almost look like rims when im drivin. I pulled up at a stoplight next to my worst enemy... a domestic. I looked over, it had tennesee plates, flowmasters, big daisy musclecar wheels, big radials, nascar stickers, and rust spots. That s**t sounded mean, yeah... that was one fast lookin winnebago.
I cranked down my window and yelled at the big inbred southern hick. What you doin sucka? He tilted his orange hunting hat and said I'm movin . I told him that he would be movin a hell lot faster in a Honda. Thats when he started revvin his engine... man it sounded mean. d**n I wonder why hes even botherin to race... I guess he didnt see the Type R and GT-R badges I bought at pep boys.

I was a little worried at first cause my car aint that fast off the line, but I took a screwdriver and punched like thirty holes all over my rusty muffler to ease backpressure. So along with my aluminum wing I knew I had him on top end. I took my car out of drive into neutral and revved it up as high as it could go. I turned my upside down tennis visor backwards so it wouldnt obstruct my view of the road. Then I buckled my Type R yellow 4 point harness and sweated it out for the green.

BAMMMMM! The light wuz GREEN... All hell broke lose! I dropped it into drive and my tires almost screeched a little bit... I think. The winnebago was haulin butt though... BAMMM!!! I pretend to manually shift it into second. I gots the timing down now, so my pretend shifts are always on target with the real ones. s**t! That winnebago is dead even with me. I hear his revs rising and hes haulin butt. BAMMM!!! I pretend to shift it into third... s**t! bad pretend shift, he starts pullin on me so I make a pissed face and pretend to miss third. To make it worse... I hit a pothole and see one of my hubcaps fly off and hit his mobile home. ****! That s**t cost 6 dollars! Oh no... Im roundin out third and this guys still pullin hard Im almost at his bumper. I think really hard to myself What would the guy from The Fast and the Furious do? Oh YEAH! The little red button on my steering wheel. Hit the little red BUTTON!!!!! I reach down and hit the button!!! Oh ****! I dont have nitrous!

The little red button is only to turn on all fiftyseven of my custom smurf blue euro foglights!!! but this works to my advantage anyway, blinding the domestic redneck racer temporarily. My car hits fourth finally... I pull up to his rear quarterpanel while the blinded redneck fumbles around for his ZZ top ray ban's. I know Im gonna win now.YES! I pull past the redneck reaching the death defying speed of 55 miles per hour. Then throw on all 20 of my euro hazard lights!!!!! Whew... that was close! After this race I poked more holes into my muffler to make sure it wouldnt happen again. Chalk another one up for the CIVIC!!!

 

lol, Funny stuff, almost as good as the geo story.

 

Man that was funny....$6hubcaps...lol
Who has a copy of the Geo story?

:TU:

 

:jd: :laugh:

I wonder if poking holes in your muffler really worksuzzled:

lol:laugh:

-Cody

 

The ever famous geo story:

 

Ricer drag races...

kind of like "Hamster Boxing" isn't it?

 

(EDIT):

The comment originally posted obviously upset some people. I apologize to those people, and I will try to be more sensitive in the future.

 

:laugh: :laugh:

that was good

 

Now here is our bumper sticker idea:laugh: :laugh:

 

gotta love it haha

 

please insert correct words!!



Photo removed by moderator.

 

both stories had me crackin up!:laugh: :TU:

 

OK guys...I've removed the photo in a post above as it did not meet the guidlines of the board. Before this gets completely out of hand, clean it up. I personally don't see the humor in making fun of a handicapped person.

 

oh come on moderator, you mean to tell me you have never shoved a stick in the spokes of a wheelchair or am I the only one? :shock::Brow: :grin:

 

Well since I have a mentally challenged family member myself I appreciate not hearing or seeing the trash people talk.

And yes Im a mod too.

 

lighten up man, i've got a friend in a wheelchair and he laughed at it

 

The photo was not of anybody in a wheelchair and of itself was distasteful. To use a mentally challenged person in that light is not something I condone. The "magic bullet" that got me to kill the photo was the "f" word in small print at the bottom of the photo. I had posted in the mod section concerning the photo itself, but upon my revisit I saw the wording at the bottom. That was all it took and I edited out the photo and made my post.

Let's get back to talking Buick kills, OK?

 

Maybe if there was more Buick content to talk about, there wouldn't be a problem with these type of posts. Seems like there are a billion stupid posts about everything but Buicks lately.
When did we start taking everything so seriously? You people need to lighten up a little.
edit-
Also- there is something about every one of us that can be made fun of. If we all took it to heart, it would be a miserable existence.
On the other hand, I realize I was being insensitive. I apologize for my comments and will think more before I type in the future.

 

Steve,
As I stated above, it was not the photo itself that got me to remove it...it was the words in the bottom of the photo. The word used in the photo has no place on this board. If you notice, I did not edit out anything in any other post where "retarded" was used to describe the person in the photo. I think you could call it "mod-lite".

I am not a prude, but there are rules for using this board. Believe me, I do not enjoy having to do some of the things I do. But one sure way of catching every mod's attention is to use one or more of George Carlin's 7 dirty words....

 

Brad,
I didn't see the photo actually. I thought you were talking about my post above.
I'm of the opinion that whoever owns the site and whoever that person puts in charge has the right to remove or edit anything they want to. It might be a public forum, but it's still a privately owned board. You should stop worrying about offending everyone for doing your job on here.
I guess that was my point- everybody these days gets offended by anything at all. We all walk around on eggshells worried about offending someone. It's a kneejerk reaction.
Don't think I am criticizing you in any way.