mopar- Most Original Parts Already Replaced jeep- Just Empty Every Pocket ford- F**ked Over Rebuilt Dodge
Ford- Fix or repair daily Ford- Found on road dead Pontiac-Poor old ni...Sorry Saab- Some Ahole actually bought it.
Had this list for a long time. Some are pretty funny, others are a reach. ACURA Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented Always Upside-down, Double Interest Another Understated Dealer Incentive A Used Dodge Incognito BMW Bob Marley & Whalers Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Beautiful Models Wanted Bavarian Manure Wagon Biggest Metal Waste Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster Break My Window Bring More Women Bring More Wrenches Bavarian Money Waster Bring My Wad! Blew My Wad! Big Money Waste Bring Money Where? Buy More Women BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CADILLAC Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions CAMARO Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time CHEVY Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean? Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet CHRYSLER IACOCCA stands for: I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions DODGE Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater Design Of Diabolical German Engineer Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now FERRARI Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively FIAT Found In A Trashcan Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation Failure In Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix it again, Tony! Fix It Another Time FORD THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable ****ING OLD RETARDED DRIVER ****er Only Rolls Downhill Fancy Oil Recycling Device Found On Rubbish Dump ****ed Over Road Disaster! ****ing Oakey's Really Dig'em ****ing Old Retarded Dudes Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation ****ing Old Rebuilt Dodge Found On Rubbish Dump For Old Retired Drunks backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot backwards --> Driver Relies On Family Firestone Overstates Reliability Data First On Recall Day Fast On Race Day For Off Road Driving Fireball On Rear Damage First On Race Day Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven Fault Of R&D Fast Only Rolling Downhill Flip Over, Read Directions Fork Over Remaining Dough ****ed On Race Day Flipped Over Resevation Decoration For Old Retired Dutchmen MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes GEO Got Everything Overhauled GM General Maintenance Genital Motors Give More Getting Malignant Got Me GMC General Mess of Crap God's Mechanical Curse Garage Man's Companion Generic Motors Corporation Got A Mechanic Coming? Greatest Mistake Created Great Mountain of Crap Greasy Messy Contraption Gay Man's Chevy Gimme My Checkbook Get More Cash HONDA Had One, Never Did Again Horribly Overpriced, Need Dad's Assistance Hang On, Not Done Accelerating Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else Honda Options: No Deal Available! Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons! Honda Options Never Deal Affordably HUMMER Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources HYUNDAI Here's Y U Never Drive An Import How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside Jeep Just Empty Every Pocket Just Expect Every Problem Just Eats Every Penny Just Expect Extra Payments Jaguar Just A Guess U Are Rich Kia Keep It Away Kick It's Ass Korean Imitation Accord Korea's Imported Accident Killer's Imported Asset Killed In Action Keep Inside Asia Korea Invades America KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT Killer Implosion Awaits LAMBORGHINI Losers Always Maintain Big Old Rotten Garbage; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image LOTUS Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious Maserati Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt Most Are Zealously Duped Always MERCEDES My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon MITSUBISHI Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside MOPAR Match Old Parts As Required My Old Pig Ain't Runnin' Move Over People Are Racing Mostly Old Parts And Rust Motor On Pavement After Race Moments Of Power Are Rare NISSAN Need I Say Something About Nothing Never In Season Simply A No-show Needs Improvement So Start Again Nipponese OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment PONTIAC Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned PORSCHE Plenty Of Receipts. Still Can't Have Everything Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything SAAB Some Ass Actually Bought Styling Absent After Buyout Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards Sad Attempt At Beauty Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown Sorry Assed American Buyers Start Adding Additional Brake fluid Stop Asking About Brakes! Sorry As A Bum SALEEN Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty SATURN Sorry Ass Transmission Under Repair Now Send Another Tow Usually Repairs Needed Same American Trash Under Revised Name SUBARU Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto This One You Oughta Tow Away To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories TRIUMPH Trunion Rumblings Indicate Usual Mechanical Problems Henceforth VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options VW Virtually Worthless Very Wonderful Very Weird VOLKSWAGEN Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Grinding Engine Noise
This thread reminds me of a story that a friend of mine told me. His father owned a Jeep dealership. One day a "guy" brought his car to trade in on a new vehicle. When they asked him what he had to trade in, he said "A Pontiac Goolee." They looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, but we've never heard of a Goolee. Could you show it to us?" "Of course" he said and walked them outside to his car. It was a Pontiac 6000 LE. ou:
he must have been from da hood.. when I was service writing for a bop dealership, a man came in looking "fo a manic". He needed work done to his "gooole" . I asked what was wrong with it and he told me .....get this......he said "my brakes be scrubbing, my tranny be scratchin, and when I mash on the gas, she just aint go.
A woman came into my shop some 5 years ago asking if we had oil for her Fiso. "Excuse me ma'am what type of vehicle?" I asked, slightly confused. "It's a Ford Fiso" she replied. "OK, let's go take a look" I said, and she led me outside to her F150 pickup truck.ou:
jbc455 has pretty well got this thread covered. Great post! I gotta say he has waayy too much free time!
Back in the 80's whgen IROC Camaros were all over the place, we used to refer to them as- I Reek Of Colonge or Italian Retards Out Cruising Seems that the IROCs were the car of choice for the cujenes
Heh heh. I thought that was pretty much an end-all. My favorite is Fireball On Rear Damage. There's a bunch more for BUICK in the other thread. John
Mopar- My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin Dodge- Dead On Driveway, Grease Everywhere BMW- Break My Windows (one of my favorites)
