1. You can enjoy a beer all month long. 2. Beer stains wash out. 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer. 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you. 5. When a beer goes flat, you toss it. 6. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six. 7. Hangovers go away. 8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 9. Beer labels come off without a fight. 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. 11. Beer never had a headache. 12. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth 10 cents. 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. 14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. 15. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. 16. A beer always goes down easy. 17. You can share a beer with your friends. 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer. 19. A beer is always wet. 20. Beer doesn't demand equality. 21. A beer doesn't care when you come home. 22. A frigid beer is a good beer. 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. 25. Beer always comes in multiples of six 26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left 27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer 28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle 29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty 30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another 31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod 32. Beer looks the same in the morning 33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month 34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in 35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids 36. Beer doesn't get cramps 37. Beer doesn't have a mother 38. Beer doesn't have morals 39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month 40. Beer always listens and never argues 41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year 42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles 43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet 44. Beer doesn't demand legality 45. Beer is never overweight 46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony 47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards 48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer 49. Beer doesn't need much closet space 50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things 51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive 52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch 53. Beer never changes it's mind 54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get 55. Beer never asks you to change the station 56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping 57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass 58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks 59. Big, fat beers are nice to have 60. Beer doesn't pout or play games 61. Beer NEVER says no 63. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere 64. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers 65. Beer doesn't wear a bra 66. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty 67. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity 68. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper 69. Beer doesn't live with its mother 70. Beer doesn't blow you off 71. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners 72. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry 73. Beer doesn't mind football season 74. Beer won't make you go to church. 75. Beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. 76. Beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. 77. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose". 78. A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers around. 79. Beer is never late. 80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute". 81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while. 82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson". 83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. 84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads. 85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. 86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice. 87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt. 88. A beer won't smoke in your car. 89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky. 90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission. 91. A beer will actually _support_ belching and farting and share yer enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona. 92. A beer is always ready to leave on time. 93. A beer never fishes for compliments. 94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits. 95. Beer tastes _good_. 96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape". 97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on yer VCR. 98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it. 99. A beer won't think the Circle Jerks are gross just because they're called the Circle Jerks. (They _are_ gross, but that's not why). 100. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store. 101. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy "just for the articles". (You _are_ lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it). 102. A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League. 103. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse "but I saved a quarter!" 104. A beer will _never_ make you go to a Swedish movie. 105. A beer will _never_ make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons. 106. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson". 107. A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment. 108. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill. 109. You don't have to say "I love you" to a beer. 110. You don't have to impress a beer. 111. You don't have to see your beer every night. 112. Beer goes on sale. Happy New Year, and thank you for Corona!!!! Ronnie
It's a d@% fine beer, says so on the label....in spanish :beer Past the Nash Bridges reruns on TIVO, now watching Metallica!!! How many have i had???? Ronnie
I drank Red Stripe beer last night :TU: Happy New Year to everyone and especially my buddy Ronnie Cole!!! Peace WildBill
I used to have a tee shirt like that but it only had 10 reasons...........yours is funnier! Beer doesn't have a mother.......:laugh:
Amen brother :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer :beer
