Im sure this one will start a fire!!! These are our rules! These are Man Rules! And Man Rules are all #1: 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what taupe is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. Foreign films are best left for all of those foreigners. 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping. 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape
1. Don't EVEN ask your wife to read this over your shoulder. She won't find it even slightly amusing. 1. You should know rule 1. above by now. ou: 1. Sleeping on the couch is Ok. I'll see tonight if it's like camping. ou: ou: 1. A woman WILL throw these rules back at you regardless of rule 1. which states the 7 day limit. ou: ou: ou:
hmmmmmmmmm o No: speechless....... Gary.....I found it quite amusing. I read em all and thought of several of my friends that every single one of those would apply too, luckily I don't fall into any of em! It's great being different! :Brow:
Michael, Great stuff! #1 is definitely the #1 argument instigator! All over a toilet seat. And the thermostat.. Women are always C-O-L-D...... My 8 years of employment with 10-20 women have shown me your post is right on target. Oh, and another thing they despise is our tone of voice when we're irritated or want something done NOW... With all these issues, my wife and I get along just fine. If she'll just learn to love that 70 Skylark in the garage.... Russ Waters 1970 Skylark Convertible 455 Married for 11+ years:laugh:
And when you ask, don't digress into some irrelevent area of the topic at hand and wonder why my eyes appear glazed over. Stay on topic, and just say it. Don't give me 'the look' and say "you go through so many shoes, I have shoes that are twenty years old that are still nice." when once or twice a year I buy a new pair to replace a worn out pair. Hey, I only have 3 pair! Therefore I am putting alot more mileage on my 3 than your 30. :laugh: Reminds me of when I first got into the printing business and women customers would ask for a "Buff" colored paper.o No: Or taupe. WTH is that ? Actually, studies have shown that men see color more vividly than women. :Smarty: Dale
I just printed the rules and will post them on the fridge tonight. I"ll let you know the reaction it gets. Just bought a new couch anyway - so its cool!:bglasses:
Mike. I think that you have entirely too much time on your hands:laugh: I am also a bit jealousthat I don't.:gt: Greg S Divorced 15 years and loving it!!:laugh: :beer :laugh: :beer :laugh: :beer
