We always hear "THE RULES" from the female side. now here are the rules from the male side. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 2. Sundays Race Day. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 4. Crying is blackmail. 5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 16. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as bearing clearance, head porting, or carb slection. 20. You have enough clothes. 21. You have too many shoes. 22. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 23. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. *Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. *Pass this to as many women as you! can - to give them a bigger laugh!!! :3gears:
The "REAL" Rules I got this from a pastor/lawyer at the BCA NATs in St Louis in '97 when heading for divorce, his pre-nupt speech was: "If you can put up with their s**t and they can put up with your s**t, you will do just fine" The rest is just details, my 2 cents, RV
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If you don't like it getting pee'ed on, leave it up. [women think falling into clean cold water is bad. Take a sit on some yellow water once.]
I still regret answering "YES" to those fat chicks who asked me if they were fat in college................................actually...........I still LMAO when I hear the "Do you think I'm fat?" question is mentioned :laugh:
With all due respect to Mr. Bucy The other story about Eve: After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve. And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc..........she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it. "That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are pared off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone." God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see............where did I put the useless boob?" Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib? Beth :laugh: p :moonu:
Dr Bucy Many thanks for the list. I took the liberty of showing it to Dr Doom (Ms Flynbuick) and now I am on the couch.
