Rules for Life

Discussion in 'The Bench' started by Greg Schmelzer, Feb 21, 2004.

  1. Greg Schmelzer

    Greg Schmelzer What are you looking at?!

    RULES OF LIFE

    Sometimes we need to remember what the Rules of Life REALLY are.

    1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.
    2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
    3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."
    4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
    6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"
    7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -believe them.
    8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
    9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
    10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
    11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
    12. Work is good, but it's not that important.
    13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

    :TU: :Brow:
     
  2. mechacode

    mechacode Well-Known Member

    "13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan."

    lol, I don't think I have any friends that'll do that quite yet.
     
  3. Eric Schmelzer

    Eric Schmelzer Well-Known Member


    LOL I was thinking the same thing. Heck Gregs my bro and I won't go there:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :puzzled:
     
  4. NickDFX

    NickDFX Well-Known Member

    I thought he was going to say, empty their pockets...
     

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