How to tell if YOU are the Grinch

Discussion in 'The Bench' started by TXGS, Dec 17, 2004.

  1. TXGS

    TXGS Paint by numbers 70 GS 455 4spd

    1.You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own
    name. (5 points)

    2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish
    your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted
    Santa goes out)

    3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer.
    (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

    4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each
    piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also,
    add 10 points.

    5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in
    a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points
    for each infraction).

    6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas
    day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone
    booth.

    7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for
    later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for
    your own party)

    8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern
    California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody )

    9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially
    produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points
    if the fruitcake is from last year).

    10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no.
    (20 points)

    Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

    20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

    30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by
    the police for overdue parking tickets.

    50-100: Grinch, move over. The Sopranos of Christmas crime has arrived.
     

Share This Page