> > > > > > An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last > > > of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. > > > > > > Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest > > > episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea > > > and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. > > > > > > In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed > > > sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. > > > > > > A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He > > > started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown > > > things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his > > > feet. > > > > > > As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, > > > a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched > > > the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" > > > > > > The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the***** out of > > > a ghost" > > > > > > > > > > > > Happy Halloween
A drunk man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa... Go home, you're drunk."
