Embarrassing first date

This just tells you how hard it is to be single
nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay
Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold...and the
guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no
overnight).

They were strangers, after all, and truly had never
met before. The outing was fun but relatively
uneventful until they were headed home late that
afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain
when she gradually began to realize that she should
not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which
she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the
heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where
she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
beside the road, or it would be the front seat of
his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out
beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in
the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on
the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman
and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief
she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly
glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues
frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as
she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy
metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by
her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered
her date's concerns about "what was taking so long"
with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt
off and needed some assistance"!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself
with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got
the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was,
they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take
something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her
free so, as she looked the other way, her first
time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her
butt off the fender. As for the Tonight Show ... she
took the prize hands down ...or perhaps that should
be "pants down. "And you thought your first date
was embarrassing!

This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed
off." Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He
became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
ou:

 

What a Pissa !!!!

I have a similar story - It wasn't a first date, but was only like our 3rd or 4th - I had gotten tickets to the Giants game in NJ and picked my date up at her Manhatten apt.(In my SportWagon, then serving Daily Duty usage). Went, saw the game, and was coming back. We're on the approach for the Lincoln Tunnel stuck about 2 MILES from the tolls in stand-still traffic.

....She announced quietly that she has to pee uzzled:

I explained that there are No exits now until we get thru the Toll Booth, across the Tunnel and into Manhatten. She asked "Are there Rest Rooms at the Toll booth ?" Ahhh....No.

We Creep along barely moving for about 15 minutes when she said "If I dont find a place to pee.....Im gonna do it in your car !!". We are now about 100 yards from the toll booth but traffic isn't moving AT ALL. She gets out and says she is going to see if the tool plaza has anywhere she can go....and leaves. I see her walk to the booths and plead with an employee....but she ends up walking back toward my wagon....half doubled over.

.....Almost to my car, she stops at the Bus two cars in front of me and bangs on the door - it opens, and she disappears. 2 minutes later she emerges from the Bus all :grin:

I couldn't believe she had the....errr....gumption to do that !! I Guess when ya gotta go....you GOTTA GO !!!

 

Mike,

It would be real hard to top that one!

After I finished laughing, I sent it to several freinds.

 

Nothing like "breaking the ice" :laugh: on a first date! :error: :grin:

 

I've heard that story before. I think that's one for the old "Urban Legends" file.

 

I actually saw a 10 year old barf out on a twirly whirl ride and it went all over the croud. Lucky me I was about 25 yards away from the splash zone!!!

 

I'm LMAO reading this!


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

A firend of mine had a blind date with a woman here in Phoenix. There is a lot of hiking in the low desert mountains around here and they went to hike Squaw Peak on a spring morning. The date was going well, nice hike to the top, then they came down. Bud decided to run as they approached the bottom of the trail. He tripped and fell and smashed his forehead open on a rock. She drove him to the hospital, but seconds before arriving, he pukes in her car!! She called him once after that to make sure he was OK, a courtesy at best. He has a dent in his forehead from the fall. I asked, he told the story.

 

I embarassed my wife to be on our first date. We went to the movie in my Green GS 455 4 speed car and along the way a guy in a 57 chevy with a "RAT" motor wanted to play. I told him only for money so I could scare him away. He wanted to play anyway for $25, and so after I took him down 3 out of 3 times he decided to pull over then all he had was $5. My wife had never been in a street race let alone seen one and been in a winning car. She tells everyone I starved her while we compared cars on the side street...................

 

I hope you brushed your teeth first.

ewwwww. :error:

 

Me too....Too Funny, J.

 

You Mean Jason Didn't Barf all over Adventureland ????

Damn....I thought we had a local HERO uzzled: ou: :laugh:

 

Here is a good one, me and my girlfriend went onto a trip in December 02 to Macon, Georgia. So from Nyc to Macon, Ga, it was over 15 or 20 hours if I remember. She did all the driving, as I just got my license and I was too young to go onto the rental car insurance. So we get down to Georgia, and she has to pee bad and there is nothing in site, its 3am so she pulls into this motel and she pee's between two cars. Aventure land is great, haven't been there in years, Can anybody from Nyc or even LI can tell me if Ettlemans gunshop is still open? I throw up on rides also, only if I eat. BTW was is a "RAT" motor?

 

Not a date but!

Well, after dating years I mistakenly volunteered to help the boy scouts go to a hockey game in Rochester. About 15 kids, and a few scout leaders and stupid me. I think they wanted me particularly because I had a conversion van which helped go a long way towards transportation. The van was two years old and hardly used. I tried to keep it clean.

Anyway, they got tickets up in the nose bleed section, all of us in one row. It was pretty hot up there and there was no where to keep the coats so it felt even hotter, I was sort of in the middle of the row and the boy next to me was very quiet. I asked if he wasn't having a good time? But he said he was.

Several minutes later he tugs on my sleeve and says I'm gonna get sick.

I looked and we were way up there. like 9 seats from the aisle and probably 30 steps to the first landing. I looked at the kid and knew he was gonna blow, so I grabbed him and lifted him up over the others and pushed for the aisle. That was far as we got. that kid puked on everybody in an aisle seat all the way down the stairs, and all over himself. I was behind him and trying to apologize to people but secretly glad I was out of the range.

Poor kid, I took him to the mens room to try and clean him up, because he needed it and he was riding with me. As I was trying to clean him up the room filled with pissed off people all trying to clean themselves off. I was trying to hide the boy, when this big guy comes in really mad... F!#$@$^% kid puked all over me, F)!$%*% SOB yada yada yada... I had all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing and I scooted the boy out of there before they realized who we were...

On the way home I took off the cover for the spare tire and put the kid by the side doors. I told him not to move and to use the cover if he had to, but by then he was feeling better. And I was thinking...look at what we do for our kids sakes anyways!!!!

I never did go back to that arena...

JohnD

 

uzzled: Is this the First Date thread or the Puked all over.... thread ?? uzzled: :laugh:

....maybe someones got a story involving Both !!

 

hockey games and puking kids, here ya go :TU:

 

I heard the Leno one years ago too - could be a myth.

 

Not a first date, but a date involving puking. That seems to fit the direction of this thread??? ou:

I went to a semi-formal dance with my girlfriend at the time and we sat at a table near the left front corner of the room with my best bud and his girlfriend. Rum and Coke was the drink of preference at the time (2nd year of college). And as tonight was a special night, we decided Bacardi 151 was in order. (You already know where this is going.)

Anyway, my girl was never a big drinker, but she really liked the taste of the rum and cokes we were pouring. She guzzled a few down not heading my warning to take it slow as the rum was wicked strong. "Yeah, yeah, I feel fine"

By the time dinner arrives, she sitting on my lap, ar,s draped across my neck, eyes closed, and sitting deathly still. I tell her she should keep her eyes open, but she responds, "Don't talk, don't move, don't even breath". Uh-oh, this is bad.

So food arrives and I think the smell got to her. She suddenly sits bolt upright and says, "I have to go to the ladies room NOW!!!!!!" The ladies room is in the exact opposite corner of this big ballroom from where we're sitting. I'm walking behind her, a hand on each shoulder, guiding her through all the tables of happy partygoers. We get to the EXACT MIDDLE of the room and she stops and clasps a hand to her mouth. From my position standing behind her, I reached and put one of my hands over her hand, somehow hoping to stop the fire hose that I know is about to erupt at max psi.

What this ultimately accomplished, due to the angle of my fingers over hers, was to create a series of small jet-like orificies at the small gaps between our overlapped fingers. From behind her (good position), I feel her body convulse and see puke spewing out in small streams in a shotgun pattern, each stream good for about ten to fifteen feet. It took several spurts to empty the dear girls stomach. :laugh: Most of it hit the floor with some stray streams strafing the crowd.

Before pushing her onward through the slime-slicked floor, I remember looking up and seeing a girl with staring wide eyes open her mouth and her entire mouthful of food just fall out and plop back onto her plate. I think a few people may have pushed their plates away after that. :error:

To my knowledge, she has never had a rum and coke again...