Blabber mouth: A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE... SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" I love this part.... " Only when he's been drinking." :laugh: :bglasses:
joke This joke reminds me of a true story from when I was about 18 (1969) I was setting at the local Big Boy, watching the hot shoes crusin by when this guy I went to school with pulls up in his 66 396 Chevelle. He said jump in and we will play a little red light to red light. He pulled up to a Road Runner and gives him a pipe shot. about this time I see a cop sneaking through a shopping center parking lot on our right,also about this time the light goes green and before I could call him off he turns it loose. The Road Runner must have saw the cop as he took off like Grand Ma Moses. Needless to say the cop nailed him! As soon as he showed him his paper work this numb nut says to the cop, "SORRY OFFICER, I NEVER DRIVE LIKE THAT BUT I"VE HAD A FEW BEERS TONIGHT!!" And that my friends is yet to this day, even after 35 years, the dumbest thing I have ever heard anybody say. Mike
another good one for ya'll A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?" The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it." The duck says, "Okay," and leaves. The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?" Again the clerk says, "No," and the duck leaves. Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?" the clerk says, "I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed! If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!" The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?" "No!" "Got any duck feed?"
