for my friends, there comes a time in everyones life when we have a decision to make. i am not talking of the decisions concerning religion or beliefs. i am talking about a decision when you can really DO something........I am a day away from mine. not too long ago Kris and I were confronted with a situation that has caused both of us to step back and take a good look at ourselves as adults. and then we were asked if we could help. we have aggreed. "stepping up to the plate" if you will. a few months ago we were asked if we were interested in "saving" a baby girl from a abusive situation she was in. she was being neglected by a mother that even today has said she doesn't want her. and by a father that has, and continues to, deny responsibility of her. as you can imagine this has caused a lot of thinking on both our parts. considering the state of the world we live in, the economy, and a million other things. but in the end the answer was the same...."I had to try". the first time i saw this poor baby i thought i would die. my first thoughts were, " how on earth could anyone do this to a poor baby ?". my next thoughts were( and forgive me but) "where are the parents to this child so that i can hit them both as hard as i can ?". I know that is totally the wrong thing to think but, i will use the "i'm human" defense. so we moved on. agreed to take custody of the child and move on to adopting her. then the bomb hit........ we find out that the girl has a brother that is hospitalized from a belt beating by his father. oh, i forgot to mention that the boy is 2 years old. what could a 2 year old boy possibly do to deserve that ? anyways. social services told us that splitting the kids would be very difficult to do and they would probably NOT try and do it. so our hopes of finally having a girl were trampled and we tried to begin the process of hoping and praying the kids would be saved and have happy kid lives together. and tried to start our lives over knowing that we wouldnt be there for her. But , in steps a couple that are some of our best friends and want a boy. so we move back to special services to let them know that we can provide homes for both of the kids,just a few miles from each other, and to couples that were the best of friends.............JACKPOT !!!!! to make a long story "kinda" short, i am here to let everyone know that, God willing, as of 4 p.m. tommorrow afternoon, 5 month old Bobbie Jo, all 9 lbs. of her(further proof of the abuse,she was 8lbs. at birth), will have a home with someone that will love her........FOREVER !! with the good Lords blessing. sorry this is so long but i HAD to brag to the "family", and ask for your prayers that tommorrow goes according to plan, Gods plan, and ours, and that we get to bring "our" girl home for good. i hope the next post i have for you all will be even better than this one................ later.............................
Dave and Kris. I am praying for this to happen as everybody else is in my family. You and Kris are Godsends for this little bundle. God bless both of you and your friends, as well. On a different note, their is a federal adoption credit for an adoption of a special needs child. It is a $10,000 non-refundable credit, which means, if the young lady qualifies as a special needs child, and I read the regulations that she is, this will help to reduce your tax liability. i.e. If your have taxable income after itemizations or your filing status standard deductions and dependent deductions, this credit will be taken off of the taxes due on the taxable income amount. Confusing, isn't it? Imagine what my head feels like after April 15th!! If you are still confused, go see an H & R Block tax professional (guess what my 2d job is?) and they should be able to help clear it all up. Just thought you mihgt want to know. I know raising kids is not cheap, by any means and thought any little bit would help. God Bless, Greg:TU:
Congratulations Dave and Kris,You two are really special people for stepping up to the plate as you said. I really admire you guys :TU: Of course, there'll be no living with Kris now that see has a little girl to spoil...:grin: :grin: :grin: Of course,if your like me Dave,you'll be spoiling your little girl worse than anyone :grin:
Unfortunately things didnt go according to plans this afternoon. it seems that the mother in this case had signed custody of the kids away to several different families. not just the baby girl to Kris and I, or the boy to our friends. she had at least 5 families in the same position we were in all in the last 2 days. i'm sorry i cant type anymore
Matthew 18 4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. 6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. +++
Whoa!! Dave and Kris, my heart dropped when I read your last post.:ball: I am not kidding about the icon. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. Just pray, as I am, that this beautiful bundle of joy will find peace and happiness in her new family, as well as her brother. Just a thought, what would happen if you and Kris decided to adopt the both of them? I know that I don't know either of you two, but I believe that you two could garner the strength needed to raise the two children and make them grateful soldiers of God. Every one knows that we need more. If you two need any help, I don't know what I can do, but the help is there if you need it, whatever it is that I can do. To God be the Glory! Amen Greg S:TU:
in closing For all, well hello again all. i am gonna try and get through this and give you all an update. with a little luck i wont have to sit here for an hour or more to complete it. as some of you know from my post, we were trying to adopt a baby girl and save her from an abusive home. we had her living with us and were simply awaiting the date (last Thurs.) to arrive so that we could meet with the parents and finalize the paperwork. when that day arrived we were happy and looking forward to the rewards the afternoon were to provide. then it happened........... we received a phone call that the mother was coming to get her as there was a "problem". we would later find out what that problem was. anyways. so we called our lawyer, where we were to meet and complete the paperwork. he told us to pick up the little boy, and meet him in his office as soon as possible. at this time we have all kinds of things going through our heads, including inquiring to whether or not we could be charged with kidnapping. which in fact we could have been if pursued correctly. so..... we called the lawyer, he in turn called the sheriff, and the sheriff called us in route. assuring us that if such charges were filed they would be "lost" somehow(i love living in a small town). so relief for the rest of the ride into town. just as we hit the city limits we got another call from our lawyer telling us to meet with some people at the regional health clinic. we found out they wanted to inspect the kids in regards to the abuse they were subject too. so they did, filled out papers and told us to take them with us to the lawyers. we did..... when we got to his office he told us this whole nightmare of a story how the mother had decided that she would insure the kids were no longer her problem, by signing Guardianship (just like we had) over to 5 other couples. all that day !!!! just in case. by doing this she did nothing but completely screw up any chance any of the 6 of us (being us and the 5 others) taking custody of the kids. and in fact the folks at social services gave the kids back to HER. their reasoning being that because there was such a mess, all she had to do, as the kids biological mom, was say i changed my mind. she had NOT signed over "custody" of the kids, but mearly a "guardianship" of them. and i guess that, by definition, is completely temparary. which i would assume is correct. in any case Bobbie was taken out of our home, hearts, and lives, and from what i understand, forever. we met with the lawyer yesterday and he has told us that basically there is nothing we can do, with one exception. that being "if" the mother were to approach us again, we could take the kids, using this incident as a legal grounds, but, we would HAVE to call SRS and they would then remove the kids permanantly from the area and place them in foster care. for adoption through state agencies. in either scenario the facts remain the same. we will not be getting to bring Bobbie home again, and more than likely never see her again. i have cried so much that i simply can't anymore. i can only compare the feelings i have now, to those of a parent losing a child in an accident of some kind. these feelings are the most horrible i could have ever imagined for any reason in my life. i have lost a child in my heart and mind, and it hurts very much. i think it would have been soooo much easier had the she not be here with us, but i try to remember for a short time in that babies life she was NOT abused and loved more than she will ever know. maybe this is just a way for things to change in her life ?? maybe the mother will realize that she CAN be a mom and do right by these kids, maybe there is a couple that can't have children that will end up with both of them and live happy forever, maybe this is just the first step in Gods plan to take control of this situation and lay his healing hands on the kids and take over. maybe, maybe, maybe..................... as for us......the boys are, well, forgetting. bless their hearts. but for Kris and I, well i have no way to desribe the feelings. the game is over, the bottles' empty, and i hope and pray a recovery will begin soon........................ again in my life, i turn my heart and soul over to God. so that he may help us all recover and move on from this experience. as i know it will be his guiding hand that will play the biggest part..... and i pray that he watches the 2 babies that are involved, and takes them in his waiting arms until they can be safe and grow up happy........ i apologize for the length, but i wanted and needed to explain. for those interested and for myself...................thank you ! Dave.
Dave and Kris - I sure wish there was something we could say or do to make things better....quite frankly, I'm not sure anything WE say will be of much comfort.... Thankfully, we both know who is able to provide that comfort! I hope and pray that the Lord will not only watch out for those two little kids, but will ease the pain that you and Kris are feeling. I know that the Lord never gives us more than we can handle....I'm sure He will be there to bring the both of you thru this! I pray that the Lord will bless the both of you! Even though there may not appear to be a 'light' at the end of all this, just know that He is in Control. I hope you will take the opportunity to turn this situation around for good, and be drawn even closer to Him! The best thing for the rest of us, is to continue to bring the two of you, along with those two little kids, before the Lord in Prayer. He is our Hope and our Strength in times like these! Also, let's not forget to pray for the Salvation of the 'parents' of these little ones! It's never too late for the Lord to turn their lives around.
Dave, now I know what your situation was. I'm truly sorry for you and Kris. That child still received the love you offered, regardless of the outcome. You both did something so generous. I can barely imagine how you must feel. Several foster parents I know have expressed the same sort of outcome and the heartbreak involved. Prayers for you.
Dave, I hope you and Kris overcome your loss. I remmember when you came to my house and told me the story about kris and how she occasionally borrows the neighbor girl so they could do the girly things. I know things must be hard on her as she was probably grateful to have a little girl. Me and donna will pray for ya'll (little bit of texas for kris). God has a plan and you are in it.
Dave, My heart goes out to you and Kris. I only know what I have read in this thread. I cannot begin to understand the anguish you are feeling. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. He will give us joy, knowing that we are going to His kingdom, sooner or later. Kindest regards, Michael A. Gilreath
Dave, If you need anything....or just want to talk, Kris has my number, man.....just push the buttons. I am here. I hope that your love has touched the lives of the kids as much as they have touched yours. God will be looking out for them, just as he was when he gave them a safe place with you and Kris. Maybe this will be a wake up call to the mother. Mike
upside/downside Yall aren't gonna believe this. Some of you know that I work for the post office as a mail carrier. In that position I have access to information in regards to mail outgoing and such. In any case, I still can't believe this....... I was sorting my mail for the route today. And on my route are some friends that take in foster kids for the state. Kind of a landing pad until foster/adoptive parents are found for the kids. Anyways I finish my letters and move onto packages for the day and I get to 2 packages for my friends box number. And to whom are they addressed ? to the little boy I told yall about at the beginning of this thread. Bobbies brother. I found out that she and her brother have been taken away from the mother legally by the state. :TU: :TU: .I don't know where she is but I KNOW she has been removed from the situation and HAS to be safe now. I since have had a up and down day for a couple reasons. First I am very happy that the kids are safe again, but then I am sad that the mother lost her kids. But then I am mad because the mother didn't change after the ORDEAL she put us through. The I am happy cause I know the family that has the boy and they are just GREAT !! Then I am sad cause I don't know where she is, and I want her to be with a safe family too. Yall want a rollercoaster ? try that on for size once. ALSO.......I haven't told Kris any of what I know about this yet. And I don't know if I can or should. I am afraid that it will bring it all back and she will be upset again(as I am). And, she just started a new job(helping disabled kids at the school) and really likes it alot and is VERY excited about being back to work. I don't want to disrupt that "good feeling" she is having now, if yall know what I mean. I just don't quite know what to do and would entertain ANY and ALL opinions from you guys. I know I don't want to keep any secrets from Kris, but sometimes would it be better ? For instance.........like NOW . I just know she will take it hard. Should I just let it go and know myself and let her forget all about it. Or do I tell her and open the wound up again, even if ever so slightly ? To be honest, I am leaning towards swallowing this one and trying to get along with it by myself. Thus leaving Kris and most DEFINATELY the boys out, and away from the "reminder". Besides I figure I won't be alone in this if I don't tell Kris. I'm telling you all about it now :grin: . What more could a guy ask for in regards to having some "back-up" ? Let me know what yall think................. And THANKS again guys. later..........................
I don't really know what to say. I pray these children stay in a loving home. I wish it was yours, but We'll have to hope for any good home. Child adoption and foster care laws really infuriate me:af: I would love to bring another child into my home throuh adoption, but the money required makes it impossible for me, while big gay Rosie can adopt all the children she wants:af: There was a case here in Pittsburgh involving a four year old girl who was found dead in a cooler. Neighbors didn't even know they had a child. She was always restrained. The details of her short life brings me to tears. They are too gruesome to share. Why does this happen? I would have loved her and raised her! I would have done anything to prevent this. There is always hope however. The children are nearest to God. Jesus said that we need to be more like the little children. Until I became a dad, I never realized the impact of this. Now I know. I see it every day. I'm sorry to relate the horrible story above, but at least the children you have had contact with are known about. There are people, including you for sure, that are helping and praying. Something good should come outta this.
Oh this sucks Well, As of today, I know where she is now. I found out that Bobbie is with her brother at the foster home I mentioned above. BUT...... and God help me get through this......I also have found out that the "mother"(and I use that term loosely), had an incident of loss of control with the baby and has caused brain damage to her through shaking and throwing her down. Thus prompting the state to take the kids away from her. They are testing the little boy I hear now, after finding this out about Bobbie, to see if he is ok now too. This is a extremely difficult time for me. I guess I keep remembering 6-7 months ago when she was with us and had a chance. Now from what I have learned she will never be right. Who in the world could do this to a defenseless baby girl ? I hope and pray that I never see that women again in my life. I have never hit a woman, but I will walk up to her, beat her teeth down her throat, and sit and wait to go to voluntarily jail. Why can't there be laws that actually WORK in deals like this ? This person will walk away from this I almost have no doubt. And for that a little girl loses over and over again. Life is not fair at all !
I'll never understand those who hurt children Keep the Faith. How about if we all pray for Bobbie tonight. Lets pray for her healing! May she recover from the shaking and find a good home! Of course we want it to be Dave and Kris's home, but a safe one will do for now.
