‘96 Buick Roadmaster Estate Limited wagon vs Mercedes and Toyota

Discussion in 'Kill Stories (Where Hemis Never Win)' started by RustyFuryIII, Apr 21, 2022.

  1. RustyFuryIII

    RustyFuryIII Active Member

    Not at all a Buick 455 against ??? story. But fun nonetheless.

    About a decade ago, I owned the ‘96 Buick Roadmaster wagon. I loved that car. At the time, she had 180,000 miles on her. I was the second owner when I flew out to Texas to pick her up and drive her back to VA. She had 111,000 miles on her when I got her home. At 180,000 miles I pulled everything but the heads and block. Replaced, repaired, cleaned and painted everything I felt was old, on the way out or rusted under the hood. After I was finished, the engine bay looked like she had rolled off the showroom floor. It was a bone stock car.

    About two weeks after I put her back on the road. I’m headed north up RT1 in Massaponax VA.

    It’s a nice day, windows down, I hear a couple of imports with fart pipes rolling up behind me. They’re zipping in and out of traffic, catch up to me and we find ourselves three abreast at a stop light. I think, this will be fun!

    A Mercedes something on my left and a Toyota something on my right. Both fully equipped with fart pipes a’blaring. Both older cars like my wagon.

    Light turns green, the three of us mat the gas pedals. I easily leave the Toyota behind before the Buick is half way thru 1st gear. The Mercedes and I are bumper to bumper until my Buick hits 2nd gear. With both cars in the rearview mirror. I take my foot off the gas around 75mph.

    At the 2nd stop light, driver of the Toyota is shouting at me “your car ain’t sh$#, man, your car ain’t sh$#!” All while shaking his fist at me!

    I think, okay, my car ain’t sh$#.

    Again, we’re three abreast at this 2nd stoplight. Cars in same position as the 1st light.
    Light turns green, again we mat the gas pedals and the results were a Xerox copy of the first stoplight. Buick 2, imports 0.

    We find ourselves at the third stoplight. Cars in same lanes again and the Toyota driver is still yelling at me telling me my car ain’t sh$#. Okay, sure. Light turns green and once again, it’s a Xerox copy of the first two races. Buick 3, imports 0.

    I take my foot of the gas again at 75mph, slow down to 45mph and they both pass me with the driver of the Toyota still shaking his fist at me yelling, your car ain't sh$#!!! Or something, fart pipes drowning out his chatter as they whiz by.

    It was priceless fun. My 4500lb bone stock wagon with the one wheel peel 2.93:1 rear end and 180,000 miles. Sure, it had the LT1 small block Chevy motor. And she did pretty much run out of breath right around 75-80mph. But she surprised many a stock car back then, not to mention quite a few of the late ‘80s and early ‘90s Mustangs. Never beat a Mustang, but she surprised their drivers nonetheless. Got a few good stories there too.

    I sure do miss her. A few years later, a 20mph fender bender did $5400 damage to my then insurance valued $3200 “ain’t sh$# car”! By then she had 225,000 miles on her and was still going strong, with the exception of that 4L60E transmission.

  2. OHC JOE

    OHC JOE Mullet Mafia since 2020

    Yes sir
    I have a 96 Fleetwood Brougham with 44k miles on it she also has the tow package so it's got 3:42 rear gears I also have the computer chipped and it's a blast to speed around in especially cause she is a lowrider something different Screenshot_20220422-053928.png
    patwhac, Max Damage and bobc455 like this.

    BQUICK Gold Level Contributor

    I ran 14.30 at ATCO (excellent air Nov day) with my 96 Roadmonster sedan....stock except for low restriction mufflers, a higher stall lockup converter and drag radials. Had to race a few people on the way home. People tailgate it like there is no tomorrow.....
    patwhac likes this.

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