Fart Can Wake Up Call-haven't had a good nights sleep in months...

He goes by between 2:50 and 4 am every morning delivering the paper. Then he turns around in the cul-de-sac and buzzes back which is much louder. I can actually hear him a mile away and it wakes me up out of a sound sleep. It's one of the most frustrating things I've had to endure as an adult. Nothing I've tried up to this point has succeded in stopping him. I took this video a few weeks ago from my bedroom window. He normally is driving a little faster, and as I said the best part is when he drives back by...so wait for it and have your computer to about 2/3rds to experience the proper noise level:




Any suggestions fellas?

 

Mostly true story.

I was sitting down at the dinner table when a pizza delivery driver went screaming past my house. I excused myself from the table, hopped in my silver 2001 Buick Regal, and calmly drove in the direction he was headed. As I crested the hill, I saw him backing out of a driveway. He was a couple hundred yards away and I could hear him accelerating. I moved over to the left side of the road, and he slowed down pretty rapidly. I kept my car centered on his as we got closer, and he stopped. I finished closing the gap, stopped, and got out to have a chat.
I asked him a couple questions, the first one was "Do you like your job?" I ended with something like, "I catch you driving through this neighborhood like that again, and you won't have that job."
A few days later while we were having dinner he came by again at a very reasonable pace. I smiled at my wife, and she made passionate love to me later that night.

 

Doesn't your municipality have a noise bylaw or something? Around here if there's an idiot tearing up the countryside with a loud bike or fart-can machine we call the cops and they pick him up. A few grand in fines usually puts paid to that kind of behaviour.
In our town it's from 11 pm to 7 am, and that also applies to loud neighbor's parties too.

Then again, you're in the US, you all have guns down there, I suppose you could shoot him...

 

My first inclination would be to call the newspaper delivery supervisor.

 

I thought this thread was going to be about a fart that woke you up. It's kind of a let down now that I clicked on it LOL

 

Dude that is freaking funny

 

This happened several years ago when I was in college. Very early one morning in the middle of winter, with two feet of snow on the ground, I'm in my dorm room four stories up and I get woken up by the sound of some genius outside revving a weed whacker. Wondering what kind of MENSA candidate would be using one of those in the middle of winter, I get up and look out the window. It was just some jerk in one of these Honda fart cannons. Went back to sleep

 

Am I making a good stab at the part that was slightly embellished? Haha

I've confronted him twice, called the paper twice, and had the sheriff's department out. I've put one inch foam over the front bedroom window and that hasn't helped. It is a Civic.

 

This may take some time but it could work. You wake up before he comes through your neighborhood. Calmly follow him back to his residence. Spend the next few days learning his sleeping habits. Then once you find the opportune time to awaken him, open header the buick and sit in his drive way at about 4gs for a half hour at a time for a week. He should request a parlay at that point. On a more serious note I would keep persueing the paper company and threaten to cancel because of it.

 

You may ask all your neighbors to cancel their paper delivery temporarily to see if the newspaper company will quite the delivery boy once they see what he has done. Chances are your neighbors are bothered by it also so they may go along with it.

 

Dang Mike, that was a beautiful story. Almost like a bedtime lullaby.

 

It was more than ten years ago. My memory might be a little fuzzy.
I just read it to my wife. She thinks I'm hilarious.

 

We do, but we try to save the ammo for foreigners that like to spout off about our infatuation with them, lol

Sorry, no skid marks here but farts are funny!

I personally don't get the paper, but did start pinning flyers to mailbox posts the other day encouraging just that. A neighbor called and said that I could be cited for harassment so I stopped...

 

Something to do with that short crank, I'm sure.

 

Ear plugs?
Cliff
It works for the wife's snoring. Lol

 

You may have to get his tag number and file a complaint/go to court if no one else will.

 

As I see it, your only real solution is to take a job with DARPA so you can have access to the prototype EMP rifle. Next you see him coming, plug that EMP rifle in, let it charge up and hit him. His lights will go out, his engine will die and he'll attribute it to anything other than you. The bonus is that as-built old Buicks don't need electronics to run and are largely immune to an EMP.

 

Yep, I think a Bazooka would be the ticket.

 

Jealous much?