The bad ( sad) first So today I had to do one of the most unpleasant tasks that I think I have ever done!! Had to put mom in a care facility! I’m not the first or only one who had to do this! Ugh! The good I spoke to the original owners daughter that bought my 65 gs brand new! She has great memories of the car and even raced it and beat some unhappy guys!
Make sure you keep track of the "goings on" at the "care facility". I was in charge of my aunt and thought I made the right choice. I was wrong. Go AT LEAST once per week and stay awhile. You learn all kinds of things.....
My folks have been in an independent living, and two assisted living places. It's not an easy transition for anyone, but if it means she gets the care needed, it can be a very good thing. As Brad alluded to, be involved as much as you can as it took a while to realize there really can be three sides to a story. Establishing a good relationship with the facility staff can go a long way but your Mom's approach and acceptance will be the biggest factor... Good luck!
The good - Spent the day with my Grandchildren. The bad - we tried to take them camping after being pestered for two weeks. Once we set up, the kids went crazy. Insolent, disobedient, and lippy. Pack up, take them home. Try again another day. It's not like we are in a tent. They have power, tv, laptop, hard drive full of videos... in our trailer. Ah well.
My three sisters and I had to put my mother in a home about fifteen years ago. It was a nice place, relatively speaking, and between the four of us, we visited at least one time a day, most of the time one of us visited her a couple of times a day and at all times of the day and night. We still caught them not doing what they were supposed to do for her. I would highly recommend video cameras, especially now due to staff shortages.
I absolutely agree with the above. One other thing that is not just important, but critical: When you visit, do not do so on the same day of the week or at the same time. The "staff" will learn your schedule if you stop in at 4 PM on Thursday and will have things shipshape for you to see. If you vary your visits, either they will have to demonstrate good care all day, or you will find out what the place is really like. Ask me how I know...
Yesterday's bad news: had to pay for eye surgery on a 16 year old cat. Yesterday's good news: got a statement out of the blue for a 401k I had forgotten about from the mid-nineties.
Sorry to hear about your Mom, but all good advice above. Nursing homes and “care” facilities are a business first and foremost, they’ll stroke you and give you the sad puppy eyes when you first visit your loved one, but you do have to keep up on them, sad to say. If the resident is easy going, they’ll get more attentive care, but if they yell, moan, or get nasty with the staff all bets are off. What happened with my sister I n the nursing home she was in, they couldn’t get enough nurses, so they had agency nurses come in, THAT really upsets the apple cart in the facility.