You might be a ricer if

-You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
-You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
-Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
-17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
-You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
-You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
-DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
-Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
-A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
-Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
-The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
-Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
-Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
-You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
-You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
-You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
-Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
-Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
-You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
-You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
-Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
-The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
-You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. -Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
-You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
-You install clear corner and brake lights.
-You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
-You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
-You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
-If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
-If you can fit fist **** your exhaust tip
-You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
-If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod youve done to your engine yet.
-Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
-EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost.
-You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
-You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
-You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
-The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.
-If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
-You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
-A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
-You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
-If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
-If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
-If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
-If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
-Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE).
-You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
-If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.
-If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
-MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
-Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
-Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!")
-The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
-If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
-If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
-If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a mildly modified engine.
-If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.
-You think pushrods are a bad thing
-Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
-Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
-You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
-If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track
-You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
-You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
-If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
-You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
-If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
-If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
-If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata
-If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
-If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
-You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ...
-You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
-You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
-You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
-You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7)
-You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
-You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
-If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
-You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
-You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible
-If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
-If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
-You have a front wing.
-If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
-If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater
-If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
-If you think colored head lights work better
Clear tail lights and turn signals. Theyre colored for a REASON!
-If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
-You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
-You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
-You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
-You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.
-You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
-Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
-Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills."
-You are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."
-Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ...
drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents.
-You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring
-You take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
-You are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking white boy fag with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment and temporary rub-on tattoos!


Found this on some other site.

 

Thats good stuff. I personally love the guys who add to their horse power. "stock it makes 185 horse, but tack on about 15 for the K&N filter, another atleast 30 horse from the cold air kit, plus about 50 or so from my muffler, then my mini starter adds about 40 horse. so, in reality, about 300 horse or so, which isn't bad for being naturally aspirated..." :error: :error: :error: I hate that crap...

 

How about:

-You actually buy and install a CO2 canister and electric switch to "INTIMIDATE" the other guy with your "NOSS"

 

Sadly I heard a guy doing the same "ricer math" on his domestic...

 

I think a lot of this stuff can just be attributed to being young. I had plenty of friends with f-bodies and monte carlos that did "ricer math" when they were first starting out, a buddy of mine once tried to convince me that removing his aircleaner gave him 50hp.

The thing that gets me is this habit that young import drivers who throw on their flashers (hazzard lights) at the end of a race to try and show who one. I was at westhampton raceway last season during a test a tune session with my GTO. Ironically I was there with the subaru club (i go there with them a lot because I have several friends with WRXs) and all their cars were in the 12s and 13s. Anyway I was having a bad day because I was having some timing issues and a carb backfire that was closing up my secondaries after launch - so most of my passes were made on 2bbls and most were in the mid to high 14s (the car in perfect tune has run a 13.1 which ins't bad for a car I drive to the track with 3.55 gears). Anyway On my last pass of the day the guy in the other lane is a b-16 honda civic (1.6 liter). We line up, the light drops and I cut a .570 light but the carb backfires off the line and my carb is now a two barrel. So I am shifting on my way to another disapointing run and I look over and the little honda is dead even with me, the driver shifting his litle heart out. Anyway, I go through the traps and I see the win light come up on my side meaning I went through the traps first and won this "heads up race" I didn't even know I would be participating in. All of a sudden I get a flyby?!?!?!! at the track by this little honda and he puts his hazards on. WTF. So I pull to the pits and I get a good look at the driver of the honda and he is about 17 years old so I figure I'll let it go. I pop the hood and sure enough the secondary buterflies are pushed past the stops - total 2 bbl run. I begin trying to figure out what is casuing this again when the little honda's "crew" started trickeling over to "gloat" about their "win". I took the ususal "my technology beats out your old junk anyday" stuff because they were all highschool kids and were pretty ignorant. One little phucker however come over and goes:
"that's a pretty fast honda huh"

to which I reply slightly annoyed "not really, a little faster than stock but 14s aren't something to brag about"

to which he responds "well he beat you" and I asked "how do you know he beat me"

and the kid goes "we'll he had is flashers on at the end of a race"

To which I lose it and say "so did I except mine were the big bulbs on top of the time display board that you and your stupid pulled over the eyes hat are too ingorant to comprehend - at least act like you've been to the track before"

so he goes "you're jealous because you got beat by a 4 cylinder"

the subaru guys had to pry the tire iron from my hand as the kid was backing away from me ghost white.

Turns out that the entire subaru club and some of the local racers had given the young honda driver a "talking to" about track ettiqute and he was all set to apologize but his buddies had been coming over to razz me, and when he saw this and me pissed off, he chickend out.

the lessons to be learned kids? a drag strip does not rely on on the honesty of 17 year old kids and hazard lights to tell them who won a drag race, it relys on advanced timig equipment and big friggin yellow lights. Also a test and tune session at the local strip is not an open invitation to a heads up drag race at every pass.

oh and to all you older racers out there, stop the spread of ingorance...take a local High School kid to the track.

My 4 cylinder honda has one exhaust pipe per cylinder. It also has one carb per cylinder, is .75 liters, makes 58 hp, and runs a 13 second quater mile.....




.....it's also a honda motorcycle from the 1970s.

 

Lmao, he put his flashers on even though he lost, what stupidity, then his friends come over to brag about it when he lost, that's some smart friends he's hanging out with there.

 

THAT STUPID DUMB-****
I got this car... 78 cutlass
it's a Kustom
its a lowrider
and its a bit of a hot rod
the best of each style,mixed.
k here's the story... i get these ricers revving to a billion rpm on me all the time, yet... i've never lost to one. HA!
that's one 13" wire wheels! imagine how little traction..
what they don't know(didn't know, 'cuz they know now) is
not to mess with a v8
it's got a healthy v8 with an overdrive....
a 403 with a 200r4...for a street legal daily driven car...that's almost "orgasmic"
monster torque and 4 sexy automatic gears
they might out-rice a tired, out of tune v8 MAYBE, but not mine.

 

*Moderator Edit*

 

Keep it clean. This is a family-friendly board. No need to sputter language like that.

 

How about lose badly....then hang way back and pretend you wern't racing!

 

ricers are funny they think the slightest things will make them fast, oh my god i got an aem intake now i can beat a cobra any day ,yeah right lol. theyre real bad out here by where i live cause im out by ontario and its riccer city there their main excuse for losing races is a messed up clutch or they werent ready, stuff like that.

 

yeah im 18 with a 1970 skylark custom with a "slightly hot" 455 in the works. all the kids at my highschool....same story. sad. and what i HATE even more than that? kids who drive DADDY's camaro etc and talk about it like they know jack. try building an engine from crap with no experience. then tell me your car is more popular than my buick.

 

Sure would like to know how many Kids my age 18-19 have rebuilt a 401 Nailhead.......hell.....ever heard of one.......

 

im 19 too and im building my nailhead man its fun to have a motor going in your car that no1 else has also having an oddball car that the only 1 youve seen in person is your own, most of my freinds are into imports but they respect me for what im doing to my car my onlym wish is i wish i had my buick durring high school instead of my chebby lol. oh well funny thing is my chev was the 1 getting a frame off when i got the Wagon now the chev is side tracked and my Buick is getting a frame off.

 

Right on! :TU: Another person my age building a nailhead! Are you just doing a stock rebuild or are you doing any mods? Nailheads Forever!!!! :beer

 

lets see well its a 401 bored out .060 over im going to get some custom forged 10:5.1 compression pistons and while im at it im probably going to call carillo and get some i beam rods made, the heads are ported with bigger valves 1.95 i 1.550 e the cam im going to run is the t/a 413-401, im waiting on t/a for the roller rocker set up, my springs are stock outers with isky inners
my intake is a port matched dual quad offy as for the carbs dunno what size im going to go with that i need advice with so if any1 here know what carbs would be good with this combo any response would be appreciated. this is my first real motor im building and im pretty nervous of it all cause i dont want it to blow up on me i have big goals for this motor and i know alot of things are gonna be expensive so im really saving up on it all. hey Casey just curious what do you have done to your nailhead is it stock or do you have it hopped up? nailheads forever :3gears: :TU: :beer

 

I'm not quite in your age group but I guess it counts (i'm 16)

 

Mine is pretty mild, 401 .060 over, TA 25 cam, 625 Carter, Mallory Unilite conversion in stock distributer. Other than that it is stock. FAR FAR future plans may include custom built EFI setup, Forged low compression pistons, and a pair of T-3 T-4 Garret's sitting on custom headers, oh and don't forget the 6-speed...........aaaaaahhhh.....if i were only rich :Brow:

 

now thats a pretty sweet sounding combo, im just building mine to embarass the ricers in my town its gonna look as nice as it will run too. i have a set of offy valve covers, my brackets, pulleys and waterbridge are all chrome, my intake is polished so is my timing cover and i have a polished finned valley cover, the heads are powdercoated high gloss black and my block is painted gloss black while my headers are ceramic t/a shorties so i hope when it all comes together the first show i go to it gets alot of attention and when i fire it up it gets even more. only thing is the cost lol. :rant: :TU:

 

oh by any chance do you have any sound bits of your car?