And I know, I saw the acronym for BUICK: Wa Shing Kah, Cleaning an automobile . ... Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies out of the trunk. =============================== YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.... You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You have a house that's mobile and fifteen cars that aren't. You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida. You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. People hear your car long before they see it. Your pickup truck bed converts into a swimming pool. Self service requires a siphon hose to get full tank of gas.========================================== If you don't like my driving then honk, and wait for gunshots Tailgaters will be shot. Those who remember their weekend don't party enough. Your just mad because my bike cost more than your car did. I would rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford. If that phone was up your rear, maybe you could drive better. Seen upside down on a jeep -- If you can read this, please flip me back over Remember folks stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph. Caution - Driver legally blonde! Pass with caution, driver chewing tobacco. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
And some more: Q: Why do Land Rovers have heated rear windows? A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them. Q: What's the difference between a Kia and the principal's office? A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office. Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Jeep user's manual? A: The train and bus schedule. A man goes to a parts garage: Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a VW please?" Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap." Q: How do you make a Rolls Royce leak oil? A: Stick a Dodge badge onto it. Q: What do you call a Freelander at the top of a hill? A: A miracle. Q: What do you call a Hyundai with dual exhausts? A: A wheelbarrow. Q: How do you double the value of a Discovery V8? A: Half fill it with gas Q: So you applied for a second bond? A: Yes, my Merc needs a minor service. Q: So BMW wasn't the first car on the scrap heap? A: Nope, it was towed in by a NISSAN. Q: What do you call an Explorer with brakes? A: Customized Q: What do you have to do if your Cherokee gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees? A: Stop pushing and take refuge in the car. Q: What is the Daewoo owner's most ardent wish? A: To buy a car. Q: What do you call a Renault with a seat belt? A: A rucksack. Q: How do you make a Matiz (Chevy Aveo) go faster uphill? A: Throw out the passenger. Q: What do you call an Opel with a flat tire? A: A write-off. I hear you've got a new car - a Toyota! Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery. What was the first prize then? A fruit basket. :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh:
And finally for the tree huggers out there: Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance," 1841 It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990 There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. ~Robert Orben Don't blow it - good planets are hard to find. ~Quoted in Time Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes! ~Dr. Paul MacCready, Jr. Remember the street car cannot turn out. ~Charles M. Hayes Modern technology Owes ecology An apology. ~Alan M. Eddison Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day. ~Bill Vaughan When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And (unlike subsequent inventions for man's convenience) the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man's brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle. ~Elizabeth West, Hovel in the Hills Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world. ~Grant Peterson A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man. ~Arnold Toynbee Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there is something wrong with him. ~Art Buchwald, "How Un-American Can You Get?," Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966 Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared. ~Robbins B. Stoeckel In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air. ~Changing Times magazine Every day is Earth Day. ~Author Unknown Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities. ~Lewis Mumford Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant. ~R.A. Lafferty, written in the late 1800s, as quoted in Adbusters, Spring 1996 One of the first laws against air pollution came in 1300 when King Edward I decreed the death penalty for burning of coal. At least one execution for that offense is recorded. But economics triumphed over health considerations, and air pollution became an appalling problem in England. ~Glenn T. Seaborg, Atomic Energy Commission chairman, speech, Argonne National Laboratory, 1969 Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~Lewis Mumford You go into a community and they will vote 80 percent to 20 percent in favor of a tougher Clean Air Act, but if you ask them to devote 20 minutes a year to having their car emissions inspected, they will vote 80 to 20 against it. We are a long way in this country from taking individual responsibility for the environmental problem. ~William D. Ruckelshaus, former EPA administrator, New York Times, 30 November 1988 No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means. ~Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974 A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. ~Paul Dudley White Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ~Steven Wright I have two doctors, my left leg and my right. ~G.M. Trevelyan Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~E.B. White, One Man's Meat, 1943 Humanity is on the march, earth itself is left behind. ~David Ehrenfeld, The Arrogance of Humanism, 1978 As we watch the sun go down, evening after evening, through the smog across the poisoned waters of our native earth, we must ask ourselves seriously whether we really wish some future universal historian on another planet to say about us: "With all their genius and with all their skill, they ran out of foresight and air and food and water and ideas," or, "They went on playing politics until their world collapsed around them." ~U Thant, speech, 1970 What fools indeed we morals are To lavish care upon a Car, With ne'er a bit of time to see About our own machinery! ~John Kendrick Bangs The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media, 1964 The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic. ~James Marston Fitch, New York Times, 1 May 1960 The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river. ~Ross Perot Remember when atmospheric contaminants were romantically called stardust? ~Lane Olinghouse I'm not sure... about automobiles.... With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization - that is, in spiritual civilization. It may be that they will not add to the beauty of the world, nor to the life of men's souls. I am not sure. But automobiles have come, and they bring a greater change in our life than most of us suspect. They are here, and almost all outward things are going to be different because of what they bring. They are going to alter war, and they are going to alter peace. I think men's minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles; just how, though, I could hardly guess. But you can't have the immense outward changes that they will cause without some inward ones, and it may be that... the spiritual alteration will be bad for us. Perhaps, ten or twenty years from now, if we can see the inward change in men by that time, I shouldn't be able to defend the gasoline engine, but would have to agree... that automobiles 'had no business to be invented.' ~Eugene, from Booth Tarkington's The Magnificent Ambersons, 1918 You can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamn contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail, you'll see something, maybe. ~Edward Abbey Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us. ~Henrik Tikkanen For 200 years we've been conquering Nature. Now we're beating it to death. ~Tom McMillan, quoted in Francesca Lyman, The Greenhouse Trap, 1990 Page Information: www.quotegarden.com/car-free-day.html Updated Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 9:10 pm.
Or repeatedly press the elevator button. I liked a lot of they sayings in your posts, but the one I quoted has to be my favorite.
