Selling your Dreams

Discussion in 'The Bench' started by scubasteve455, Jun 25, 2017.

  1. STAGE III

    STAGE III Lost Experimental 455-4 Bolt Main Block.

    One other topic we should hit on.

    HOW ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE?

    IF SOMEHOW you manage to pull this off what do you think losing your car and being tens of thousands of dollars in the hole on top of your OWN DEPT are going to do to you and your wife?!!
    Also you may as well tell your other daughters "sorry your sister took it all" for their marriages!
    The car is going to be the least of your worries with that many pi$$ed off women!
    Write her a check for a few grand & tell her that is your gift to them, PERIOD! Keep it short & sweet and walk.
    IF She flys off the handle in outrage maybe her sisters need to knock a few more teeth out of her head to get her thinking right.
    Don't let HER expectations ruin your marriage and take your damn car!
    Sorry this is just really hacking me off, reminds me of relatives I have
     
    Smokey15 likes this.
  2. schlepcar

    schlepcar Gold Level Contributor

    Easy for me to say because I don't have a daughter, but I have been married to a couple of them. The first one's parents spent a ton of money on our wedding(working man dollars that they earned)...it did not last long with the spoiled brat. The second daughter had a dad who worked concrete and did not offer a dime(and I don't blame him)....anybody would have married her if they picked her up bagging groceries. It ain't about the money.
     
  3. 1972Mach1

    1972Mach1 Just some M.M.O.G. guy.....

    This is one of the reasons I'm not with my last girlfriend.....She felt the need to "keep up" with her friends, who are all kept women with literal millionaire husbands. When they go on vacation every weekend, they go to their second homes on the lake and fly in their helicopters. I told her I wouldn't try to show off, and pretend I had money that we didn't have, just to keep up appearances....She just couldn't get it through her head that money, or the appearance of it, didn't matter or impress me, and I didn't feel the need to impress them, either. She wanted me to take time off to go on one of these little lake excursions, and when I told her I didn't have vacation time left and that we should invite them over for a barbeque at my house during the week, she acted embarrassed by my (very nice to me) house that was built in the 70s and remodeled about 10 years ago. I finally told her that I didn't think I'd ever be fancy enough for her, and let her know we should part ways. Her parents and I still have drinks together almost every weekend......Super good, humble people, but sometimes the offspring get hooked up with the wrong crowd, even if they seem like the right (rich) one.
     
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  4. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    I know the type, Lucas. Social climbers. She'd rather marry a millionaire asshat jerk than an honest man who will treat her well. No matter who she drags to the alter, she will always be looking to 'upgrade'.
    AND, I agree with several who asked if the $80,000 was a know fact or sprung last minute. We are offering truthful advice, but we need to known the whole story.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2017
    1972Mach1 likes this.
  5. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    And Steve, what about your retirement? When these expensive weddings force you to work the rest of your life like my friend? And, will this daughter be there to support you and your wife when you can no longer work due to age or poor health? Hate to say, but if you sell your car, I am betting, no matter how much you love each other, that it will throw a very negative force in you marriage. You will be hard pressed to hide the bitterness from selling you car. You worked and earned to attain your car. If it were to save a life, I'd agree. But for an $80,000 wedding? No F'in way.
     
    STAGE III likes this.
  6. STAGE III

    STAGE III Lost Experimental 455-4 Bolt Main Block.

    I hear ya too Lucas. My sister in law was married to a true millionaire asshat. I saw completely through him as he would dump you in a millisecond to go rub elbows with someone that could benefit him at my in-laws social events with some real big wigs. When totally shunned I would eventually disappear and go hang out with the staff catering the high brow crowd. I called my brother in law Mister Plastic Fantastic and my mother in law thought I was totally classless and OMG he drinks BEER instead of wine!?! They even had the nerve to tell me "Don't you leave her" when my wife was diagnosed in her early 40's with Stage 3 breast cancer. Not only did I go with her on every Doctors appointment,chemo,radiation,hospital etc etc I was EVEN there when the "chosen one" successful brother in law dumped my wife's sister for some scuzzy chick. At least her parents can be assured this daughter is loved and cared for even if we don't have the financial security others do.
    I still remember the advice my Dad gave me on women. " Watch how they treat the waiters and waitresses when you are out on a date,if they are snappy,high maintenance,rude, etc it is just a matter of time till it comes back full circle on you!"
    I would rather see the writing on the wall early before marriage because when I commit I am there for life. Okay off my orange crate now. Wait till you see my "humble license tag"for the Poor Touring X;)
    Guaranteed to run off the "money is everything crowd" crappy looking car AND the guy is proud to be a "zero"? Skip him, no benefit to us"
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Jun 29, 2017
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  7. scubasteve455

    scubasteve455 Well-Known Member

    66 Electra No nobody at all. Just me throwing it around
     
  8. scubasteve455

    scubasteve455 Well-Known Member

    Nobody wants the car sold. Man what a **** storm. It will take me another Day to read your guy's threads. I wizzd through them. But have to go back. You guys blow my mind ! All your sincere thoughts. I am moved. Overwhelmed . Need time to read.
    It's out of control!
     
  9. superlark

    superlark Guest

    80k for a wedding? Geesh. I guess if it's your own money.
     
  10. gstewart

    gstewart Well-Known Member

    $80000 for wedding? SAY WHAT! $55000 too much...
     
  11. telriv

    telriv Founders Club Member

    75K TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!
     
    docgsx likes this.
  12. Taulbee2277

    Taulbee2277 Silver Level contributor

    Dang Fritz that's solid advice
     
  13. TWO72"s

    TWO72"s Silver Level contributor

    I read this thread everyday and keep saying to myself something just is not right here at all. There has to be so much more to this story.
    Time to lay it all on the line please we are here to help you get through this.
     
  14. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    What is totally "out of control" is whoever thought it was okay to blow $80,000 on their wedding. That's what is out of control. I'm betting on total agreement here.
     
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  15. Brian Albrecht

    Brian Albrecht Classic Reflections

    :eek:

    Sounds like your stuck saying "yes to the mess"!

    You can buy a lot of I C Lights and Primante Bros for that kind of coin LOL Seriously, it sounds like a betrayal and a nightmare wrapped up into one, with a Buick in the balance.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2017
  16. 300sbb_overkill

    300sbb_overkill WWG1WGA. MAGA

    For an $80K wedding, selling your car I'm afraid will only make a small dent in that sum. It sounds more like you need to sell a house rather than a car to finance that wedding!

    2 weeks notice to cough up $80K is ridiculous! I seen that you mentioned that the groom will be paying some of the bill, if in I were you after hearing the deadline and the sum owed I would graciously donate about $5K for the wedding and wish her luck or at the most 10% so $8K.

    This gives you an opportunity to set a presentence for the other 2 daughters for when they get married that you will pay a $5K or $8K limit(whatever YOU think you can afford to pay without going into debt) and the rest of the extravagance will be on them.

    That was VERY unfair of her to spring that on you 2 weeks from the due date and expect you to cough up the dough! I'm sure if you were asked at the time she started planning the wedding how much she could expect from you that the bill would be no where near $80K if you were involved with the process from the start.

    I wish you the best of luck with this situation Steve, hopefully you find the stones(no offense intended) to tell your daughter how it is and you don't go broke or homeless trying to pay for a wedding. GL



    Derek
     
  17. Redmanf1

    Redmanf1 Gold Level Contributor

    I cannot tell you the circumstances or the event that has made this happen but I can tell you that Steve is an honest standup guy. I am sure that is no joke and I know he is trying to do this for his family. Like most all of you have stated $80k for a working mans wedding is not in any way reasonable. As many have said I believe it could have a negative effect later down the road. I know Steve has put so much heart, money, time and research into his car it will be a sore loss that will eat at him as time goes on. I am sure he believes he is doing the right thing in his sacrifice but it is much more than the car...... Steve, I cannot tell you what to do with your money but I think it is time for a reality check for the kids.......
    May you be blessed with a decision that will keep the family in harmony...

    Your friend

    Nelson
     
  18. Jim Weise

    Jim Weise EFI/DIS 482

    I mentioned this to Beth, and she said, having just married her daughter off here a few years ago..

    "The wife and daughter were in on it, paying the deposits long ago, they just kept him in the dark."

    If that is what happened, and all the contracts have the wife's signature on them, then yes, Steve is stuck with whatever bill it is.

    We were trying to get our head around that number for a wedding.. you must have a lot of folks coming (hundreds) in a very expensive venue and catering, complete with ice sculptures and roving violinists for that kind of dough.

    Beth's daughters wedding was very nice, for about 30K, which I thought was crazy money. I would have taken all the immediate family to Hawaii for a week for that kind of cash.. or whatever... Then come back and had a big party for all my friends..

    It's a racket that preys on the emotions of people, for sure.

    JW
     
  19. 436'd Skylark

    436'd Skylark Sweet Fancy Moses!!!!!

    the reality of it is unless you have a 70 stage 1 4 speed gsx you are not going to get anywhere near 80k for your car. it will likely take many months to sell anyway..
     
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  20. tufbuick

    tufbuick RIP

    Bin there done that !
    Let them force you into this ridiculous situation now and it's only the beginning !
    They will look to you as a friggin' bank from this day on.

    They'll come to you for a house down payment , a car loan, a refab loan on their house, loans to bail them out of financial trouble, medical expenses at childbirth, and any other thing they feel you owe them.
    And the best part..............THEY'LL NEVER PAY YOU BACK.

    I speak from experience as my kids took me for thousands along the way. Fortunately I never had to sell anything to keep them in the style they grew accustomed to.

    Stop it now before it spirals out of control !!!

    Between my 3 kids they have 11 kids and guess what...............PAYBACK IS A BEEEOTCH !!!

    HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaa.
     
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