My Friend is getting old

Discussion in 'Help From Above' started by DeeVeeEight, Aug 15, 2014.

  1. DeeVeeEight

    DeeVeeEight Well-Known Member

    My closest friend and business partner is getting old. Too old to do the contracting work that we do, but he refuses to give in. He is diabetic and is showing signs of Parkinsons' disease too. He also has trouble following instructions and is frequently disoriented. Last year he had a mini stroke. He does not want to quit work and his wife keeps telling him that they need the money (they would be alright if she would stop spending so much). It has gotten to the point where he is messing up on our light carpentry and painting jobs and the level of quality that we normally provide is starting to suffer.
    It is breaking my heart.
    How do I breach this subject with him without sounding like an accusatory SOB and making him feel bad? He has stayed by me through good times and bad, I feel.... obligated to take care of him but at the same time I can't let his condition ruin my business.
    What do I do?
    How do you tell a good friend that he can't cut the mustard any more?
     
  2. gsgnnut

    gsgnnut Well-Known Member

    tough situation. no easy answer. good luck
     
  3. DugsSin

    DugsSin Well-Known Member

    Sorry to say from my experience it usually doesn't turn out well. You will probably lose a friend and be called a lousy SOB but at some point you have to save yourself from destruction. Reality can really bite but nobody said life was fair. Rather than push him out the only other option I can see is to go out on your own but the split is inevitable.

    Lost my Mom to Parkinson's so I can tell you for sure you will eventually be forgotten. Good Luck with your new path.
     
  4. Briz

    Briz Founders Club Member

    Find a guy to do his hands on work and create a position that is more in line with his abilities. Like an estimator or Int contact person. Give him a salary and commission. Either that or close the business, dissolve the partnership and go out on your own. Its tough choice but if your company is to survive its one you're going to have to make.
     
  5. fowler

    fowler Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you have a really big heart, what a blessing! It is so difficult when you care about others to make those tough decisions but when you have a business to run you must do what needs to be done. This does not mean that you have to be unkind. You must act according to your beliefs as to what is important in life. For me being kind is a big priority but I too own a small business and in the past I have put off doing what needed to be done and it cost me dearly. Not just financial costs but also the mental and emotional toll that it took really affected my ability to take care of business. I encourage you to write out your thoughts and options, decide what must be done and then do it and don't look back. Change is tough. Whatever you do someone will not like it and you are likely to experience some backlash. That is okay. That's part of the process. You can do this. Just adhere to your values and be kind and compassionate without wavering. I hope for the best for both you and your friend. God bless you.
     
  6. DeeVeeEight

    DeeVeeEight Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your feedback. This is a tough situation but I have decided in the end I am not my Brother's keeper. He has a wife and a family to support him and care for him, those are a lot more assets than I have. I have to look at the big picture and worry about my long term financial stability. He is going to have less and less work to do because I am the one who hands out the job assignments. I am going to have to be very selective in what I give him to do. Hopefully he will retire in a few months when he turns 65. I don't know what else to do. Confronting him is not an option that is very appealing or sensitive to his needs. With a little luck he will soon realize that he needs to step down and enjoy his golden years.

    Thanks again...
     
  7. bhambulldog

    bhambulldog 1955 76-RoadmasterRiviera

    DeeVee,
    My Prayers for you and your coworker/friend
     

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