Well my brothers, my ex GF is at it again. After almost 4 years of separation and peace and quiet she still won't let go. I am ready to move on and she wants to make things messy all over again. It looks like we are headed back to court. While none of this is life threatening, she truly has tried to destroy me on many levels and to reduce my quality of life. All I can say is I have not given in, I have fought quietly and with determination to overcome these obstacles and repeated attacks. Fortunately many of you will never know this kind of hatred or evil but I am sure that many of you have and can understand. "peri-menopause" I know it well. It's when you spend days & days deep below the surface, suffocating, trying to be invisible and only to escape, evade. Eventually you very slowly rise to the surface to get a breath of fresh air and recharge your batteries. But first you carefully poke your periscope up to take a look around and see if the coast is clear---only to see the HMS Menopause bearing down upon you smoke pouring out of her stacks at full ramming speed---"DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!!" you yell, gongs and sirens screaming. "PREPARE FOR HOT FLASHES!!" and they come raining down, exploding at random all around and you dive and run silent and so deep your seams creak and groan and you pray only to survive yet another onslaught: The crashing concussions of explosive rage, bursting pipes of screaming boiling high pressure bull**** long thought to be forgotten searing you, pointless rivets of anger driven nothings popping and ricocheting and tearing your mental flesh once again-- You pray only to survive long enough to recover a little bit and surface to sanity and perhaps this time find calm seas and sunshine and fresh air even for a brief while....and then just when you barely begin to be able to breathe again---- you spot smoke on the horizon steaming toward you once again.... "DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!" __________________ And so today, after I heard the latest grief about my ex from my lawyer, I open my email from a close friend and this is what I found. As I read these words I felt the stress and anxiety leaving me. I am not a religious person (I am more spiritual) but I really do feel the power and am grateful for it. Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exists in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exist in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot...I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all, You are my hope. O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution and with Christ the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge!Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me
Back to court for what? Short of a child custody/support issue she should have no reason to be dragging you into court. If it isn't over a child then have you considered a restraining order? I did this to my sons mother when she was stalking me. She was bashing me on facebook, sending nasty messages and lewd pics to my business e-mail, etc. My support was paid so she had no reason for contact. Took screen shots of all e-mails and facebook posts and dragged her to court, then the psycho backed off.
I feel your pain, Bro. I have been the victim of an ex who stalked me. I won't go into details, but even after she married some other sucker, she tried to get me to have sex with her. My wife was in the process of a divorce when I met her, almost a deal breaker (didn't want the hassle). Her ex was stalking her, until I busted his snoz. What does your ex have that she thinks she can keep this crap going? If you have a child together, that can be messy if she's a psycho.
Unfortunately, A lot of us have been there. Do not let her manipulate you with court(for whatever reason). Document anything as far as contact. Tell her with witnesses that you do not want her to talk to you other than through your attorney. Give her a business card with his name and number,(even if it is just a drunk friends). See if she ever calls that number or just keeps harassing you. When,and if she takes you to court, you can document any and all harassment and counter sue her for your legal fees.Take it from a guy who has spent thousands that all is fair in love and war. Stand tall and tell her not to go away mad,just go away. Not a fun spot to be in,good luck
I can't go into too many details but I'll give you a rough outline. We bought a house together in 2010. We lived in it together for 23 months, then she tried to have me locked up on false domestic violence charges. She kept me out of the house for 7 months on a restraining order based on the false charges. After 7 months we went to court and I was acquitted. She then left the house (and robbed me blind) and got another place on her own and then I moved back home (YAY!). She also forced me to sign a consent order that outlined the sale of the house at a significant financial disadvantage to myself. I ignored the consent order and she never tried to enforce it. Fast forward 3 years. I have been working hard and can finally refinance the house without needing a cosigner. (I am self employed and in 2010 things were so bad I couldn't get a mortgage on my own so she co-signed.) Now that I am ready to refinance (without her) she wants to keep me under her thumb and is refusing to settle and quit claim to the deed on my home. She thinks she is entitled to more money. Too much aggravation over nothing... There are pages more of her nastiness but I will spare you those details. All I can say is that I just don't understand how mean spirited some people can be. I had gotten myself upset over this, then I took immense satisfaction in seeing how wound up she is - she does it to herself! All I can do is wait and keep doing what I have been doing, I am confident that it will all work out just fine.
Lee, you should have a real estate attorney look at the documents to see just what the bitch is entitled to. It may cost you a few bucks, but it will pay off knowing exactly where you stand. Record any conversations when/if she contacts you. If she threatens or rants, it'll look good for your attorney to play in court, if it comes to that. Did you ever press charges for the articles she stole when she left the house? Did you document them?
Man......same sorta thing happened to me,but I too was self -employed and it actually ended up benefitting me in court. It would be a good idea to listen to Smokey because not all agreements are even legit in the eyes of a judge. Was it signed and notarized? Sometimes your best friend can be a licensed contractor that has done work on the house because it would not matter who owned it if he had a lien on it. Legal advice is best left to real attorneys, but I have found that there can be a lot of wind and no damage in these tornadoes. Make her do all the work if she wants to mess with you. Most states have a 5,000 dollar limit on small claims,up to 25,000 in district court,and circuit court is over $25k. In other words,what is she actually threatening to do? In our state,both names would have to be on the purchasing paperwork. Is it yours,hers,or ours? I was actually married when all this grief took place and I think you will find you are in a better spot if you are the one who did not abandon the household.
I believe at this time that there is little she can do except to delay the inevitable. Both of our names are on the deed and mortgage. She was adamant that she wanted her name off of the mortgage (I do too) so I have worked hard towards that end. Now that I am ready to move forward she wants to fight some more. It's all a lot of craziness on her part. All I have to do is be patient and let this chapter work itself out, then she will find herself on the receiving end of things. And yes, I never abandoned the house, she did.
Lee, You could just work like a moron and "bank" your house payments. If you do not pay anything they will send out a lot of nasty letters and it goes against both of you. At that point,you would have more artillery to get her to sign a quit claim, and you could take her off and retain a loan in your name. If you could get her out of the loan and off your property you would be DONE without kids with this one. I thank God I never had any kids with my spoiled little brat. You have to find one that heard the word "no" before she met you. In today's house market the bank is a little more lenient on people. Certain states have double jeopardy...in which,you can be foreclosed on and still owe the bank. Other states say that if the bank forecloses,you are done,and they cannot come after you. It all depends on rather or not you really want to stay where you are at. The option is inevitably yours. Without a restraining order she can probably legally show up whenever she wants,and that is annoying at this point. Dan
