Canada is Helping with the War

Discussion in 'The Bench' started by GSXMEN, Feb 7, 2003.

  1. GSXMEN

    GSXMEN Got Jesus?

    The Canadians are going to help America with the war on terrorism. They have pledged 2 of their biggest battle ships, 6000 ground troops and 6 fighter jets.

    Unfortunately, after the exchange rate conversion, we ended up with 2 canoes, 1 Mountie, and some flying squirrels.

    :grin: :grin: :grin:
     
  2. Jetstar I

    Jetstar I 1965 Oldsmobile Jetstar I

    Har har....very funny. :puzzled:

    Hey have you ever been attacked by a flying squirrel? No? Well pal you better watch your ass...them critters are very dangerous and can take your balls off with one swoop. Never underestimate a flying squirrel loaded on Canadian beer.:laugh:

    Later eh

    Ante
     
  3. APVGS

    APVGS Ottawa Go Fast Guy!!

    Ditto.... We have Special Forces beavers also...Angry Beavers...!!
     
  4. gstewart

    gstewart Well-Known Member

    beavers

    or nothing like a hungry beaver either !!
     
  5. Leviathan

    Leviathan Inmate of the Month

    Passed on from a fellow at the office...

    Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to invade,when his telephone rang.

    Hallo, Mr. Laden a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie,down 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada. I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you!

    Well Archie, Osama replied, This is indeed important news! How big is your army?

    Right now, said Archie, after a moments calculation there is
    myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!

    Osama paused. I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.

    Holy jeez, said Archie. I'll have ta call ya back!

    Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. Mr. Laden,the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!

    And what equipment would that be Archie? , Osama asked.

    Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor.

    Osama sighed. I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.

    Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye , said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya.

    Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!

    Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!

    Jeysus, Mary and Joseph, said Archie, I'll have ta call youse back.

    Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. Mr. Laden! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war.

    I'm sorry to hear that said Osama. Why the sudden change of heart?

    Well, sir, said Archie, we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize that dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners.
     
  6. Mike Atwood

    Mike Atwood The Green Machine

    I hear the Canadian CIA is also joining the allied forces. Two of their best agents are now going to go deep under cover and infiltrate AlQueda and BinLaden's army.

    Here is a photo.
     

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  7. hemikillerstg1

    hemikillerstg1 Living the dream ✨️

    Having grown up in Frostbite Falls, MN I can assure you that those two CIA agents are NOT Canadian:Brow:
    They will however Kick Boris and Natashia's BUTT:blast:
     
  8. gstewart

    gstewart Well-Known Member

    canada

    we canucks have "Dudly Do-Right" of the mounted police
     

    Attached Files:

  9. APVGS

    APVGS Ottawa Go Fast Guy!!

    Just goes to show you guys,We can laugh at ourselves...and laugh at you too!! Check out our T.V shows!!
     
  10. Eric Schmelzer

    Eric Schmelzer Well-Known Member

    OH MY GOD!!!!! This thread has me rollin on the floor. You guys need to go on tour. Very funny stuff.
     
  11. Leviathan

    Leviathan Inmate of the Month

    Canada IS the world leader in political comedy...

    ...Anyone else see Cretien endorse Marg Delahuntey's bid for PM on AirFarce this week?

    ...Imgine offering a Celebrity Headlock in any other country...

    ...Preston Manning interviewing Preston Manning (I Love that word REFOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM)...

    ...Talking To Americans...

    ...and of course Canada's Mightiest Weapon: The Chicken Cannon.

    Jeez, everyone else takes democracy so seriously.
     
  12. GSXMEN

    GSXMEN Got Jesus?

    I hope nobody takes any of this too seriously!:grin:

    All in good fun!!:Comp: I'm glad we have such good neighbors!!:TU:
     
  13. Joe Kelsch

    Joe Kelsch Eat Mo' Rats

    One of my favorite Canadian TV shows is Red Green.

    "The handyman's secret weapon...Ductape."
     
  14. FrankM

    FrankM Active Member

    Hey guys....after years of cutbacks by our beloved (not) prime minister, our forces have seen better times. No need to worry though, when the bullets start to fly we'll have your back. I have made a few American friends over the years through the car scene plus I grew up next to a US naval base in Argentia NF & on Sept 11th we had a lot of unexpected visitors, mostly American, drop in. BTW Clint I haven't met Archie yet from Badger's cove but he sounds like one tough SOB.:grin:
     
  15. sailbrd

    sailbrd Well-Known Member

  16. Marco

    Marco Well-Known Member

    This thread is funny!

    [size=+1]A real man's toolbox requires only two tools...Duct Tape and WD-40[/size]

    If it moves and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape
    If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    :beer
     
  17. Joe Kelsch

    Joe Kelsch Eat Mo' Rats

    Another quote from that show:

    "If she doesn't find you handsome...she sure will find you handy"

    or something like that.

    In Pgh. it used to on PBS at 9:00 Thurs or Fri. They since have moved it to a different time and I haven't found it yet.
     
  18. gstewart

    gstewart Well-Known Member

    red green

    watch red green & airfarce every friday night on cbc .
    i am a little biased, but then again i am canuck !
     
  19. APVGS

    APVGS Ottawa Go Fast Guy!!

    Oh that reminds me.Where can I get a canoe rack for my GS???
     
  20. Eric Schmelzer

    Eric Schmelzer Well-Known Member

    Just build one out of duct tape and some left over lumber, pvc pipe, branches that fell out of the tree, or whatever you can find
     

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